GOD SHOULD BE IN A B SCHOOL

I was so confused today early morning. I was feeling lazy and wanted to sleep more but at the same time I was hungry, hungry enough to have my sleep distracted. I could have probably eaten something but that would entail brushing teeth and going downstairs to have breakfast. Brushing teeth I could have forgo but there was no way to have food without going downstairs.
It was then the idea hit me, God with all his knowledge and power is inefficient for sure. For he could have easily do away with food and make us solar powered. All it would have taken was a wave of magic wand. This would have save time, the precious time that we spent on having food and the time spent on working to get that too. It would also have meant no death due to starvation and people would not have to toil for bare survival. Their time could have been directed towards education, innovation, literature and the best of all sleep.


Of course critics of this theory often points out that there would been have no life in Siberia then. Firstly, who would want to live in Siberia and secondly are not there inhospitable terrains in the world right now?
Just think of the advancements that we would have made in the field of science, literature. Not only that there would have no deaths due to cholesterol blocked arteries, diabetes etc.
When I have already mentioned about inefficiency in the design system of God, I might also point out the flaws in his branding too. God if you are reading pay attention for this is very important.
When it started out, God was portrayed as all merciful, kind, forgiving to its followers and tolerant of other people religious beliefs. This made it possible for people of different faiths to co exist. Humans were thought of as created in the image of the maker.


Lately however the branding campaign of God has been hijacked and it has hit rock bottom to say the least. When once the icons of God was the learned Gurus. Prophet or Son of god, the post has been usurped by Al Qaeda and the self proclaimed moral police trying to uplift and remove the decadent practices that has taken hold of mere mortals.



So Lord the all merciful will banish you from his Kingdom and leave you to rot in hell if you do not follow His Law.

Now, Lord the picture of tolerance is having hard time accepting that two consenting adults hold hands in public and celebrate Valentine’s Day and girls much to his chagrin wear jeans.


God the Creator of Life now proclaims “Death to Infidels” from the roof tops and force kids to carry AK- 47.
A simple and naïve follower like me is confused, which is the true identity of God.
Which God I put my faith into, The inefficient and merciful God or the inefficient, hateful and vengeful God.
I think it is time that God take stocks of all things happening in his name and may be learn something about operations and marketing while he is at it. As for me I better get up before my head burst with further crazy ideas.

IndianBudget and Me

This is not one of those 100’s articles doing the round explaining the budget to you. So if you want to know about budget (seriously budget!!) then bugger off. This is about the similarities between Pranab Mukherjee and me. Ya I know it is flattering but the resemblance is uncanny.
First and the foremost similarity is the dependence on the word “IF”. Now I do not have to explain the importance of the word ‘if’. For every one of us every now and then sighs “IF ONLY” and the things could have been different.
My list of ifs include the following:
- Should have been cast as Robert Pattinson opposite Kristen Stewart and now she could have been my girl friend and I would have been the heartthrob of entire world or at least the world that matters
- I was born as Vijay Mallya’s son and have unlimited access to ‘beer’, license for good time and got to hang out with Deepika.



- I could be invisible and hence do not have to attend the classes and get my degree without breaking a sweat.


Whereas Pranab da’s list of ifs include:
- Double digit growth will manifest itself in the next fiscal inshallah. (The crucial how is missing)
- The price of crude oil will magically come down despite the several jasmine round of revolutions taking place in the oil producing countries. (I prayed to Goddess Lakshmi did not I? she will do something)
- Nandan Nilekani will come up with the UID project by March 2012 and we will be able to plug the leaks in PDS and subsidies. (This might actually come true. Betting on Nilekani to deliver)



- BJP will help us pass the important reformist bills like The Insurance Laws and the Banking Laws Amendment Bill. (Like they help you pass the Nuclear Deal)
- There is another windfall gain like the 3G to rein fiscal deficit. (Some minister conscience will wake up and he will donate the money he made from one of the scams. Mr Raja you reading this?)
- Food Prices and the supply bottlenecks will magically disappear. (Like they have been asked to disappear for the last fifty years.)


My ‘ifs’ or ‘wishlist’ may look impossible and stupid but believe me they are not half as stupid as Pranab da’s wishlist. These are just some basic but nonetheless important ‘ifs’ on which how Pranab da will be remembered as FM depends.

My Engineering/MBA Class

A classroom resembles more of society than may be apparent at first. There are like in the civil society, the upper class, the middle class and the lower class.
A Class can be similarly divided into haves and haves not with a large number thrown in between the two. There are ofcourse outliers too but they are few and far in between.

Ambanis and Mittals of our class are people who have always had more than 90% throughout be it nursery, matric, high school, undergraduate or post graduate. Anything less than 90% and they will scorn like they have broken one of the Ten Commandments. It almost seems like they were born with a purpose and that divine purpose was to mug and mug so bad that no question in the paper would be left unanswered.




It is very easy to locate these Ambanis, they would always sit in the front row and take notes like their life depended on writing every syllable that comes out of the prof as if they were divine revealation. They could be seen tailing the professors when prof’s left the class.

Then there is the Aam Aadmi (Mango Man). This part of the society gives meaning to the upper class and is something that lower class people aspire to be. They can be spotted occupying from third row to anywhere upto the last row depending on when they entered the class.



They are the ones who will download ppt’s , get the notes Xeroxed on the night before the exams/minors as the case may be. This section actually determines the quality of the profs. For if the prof is any good some of them might actually listen to the prof else they will just turn their deaf ear to the prof, read ET, novel or the best of all sleep.

Then there is the lower class ot the BPL class. They may be the most misunderstood section of the society.
They are the ones most prone to spring a surprise. They are hard to spot in class for they are never present in the class. At the end of the semester, they are running after prof’s to get their attendance completed or have a medical certificate in hand. They generally come to know of the syllabus during the course of appearing exams.

Finally there are outliers. They are the hardest to classify for they elude any set description. Some may top the subject even though they never attended any class (or may be because of it). Some of them will line up to get their medical certificate when they should be appearing exam. Nothing concrete is however known about them.



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The curious case of Berlo and Tiwari

The more things change the more they remain the same. This may sound lika a cliché but it is a cliché for a reason: it is true.
Have you ever heard of Mr Tiwari, the Andhra Pradesh governor or rather known as the protagonist of a video whereby he indulges in threesome (that too at an age of 84)? I think most of us can recollect it. Now have not we been hearing the exploits of Mr Silvio Berlusconi. These two gentlemen had something in common for sure. They were drunk with power and are extremely virile. The only difference they belong to different parts of the world

Recently lot of scams has been making the headlines: the 2G scam, The Adarsh Society scam, the CWG scam, the ISRO Spectrum scam. There are so many of them that it is hard to keep track of all of it. Well there is a reason why we had so many scams, the liberal justice system, the political system that will protect their own at every cost and the largely apathetic population which has accepted corruption as part of the culture.
But the mother of all scam was certainly Recession. Well may be it was not scam in the traditional sense of the word but the underlying factors were the same: Greed that led to flagrant breaking or finding loopholes in the legal system, Putting the good of one over that of the community and most important of all the rewards that were associated with these activities. There was only one difference again, the origin of the scams were from different parts of the world.
Despite being culturally so different why is it that things do not look that different when viewed from the distance.
Well if I may be so presumptuous as to venture a guess than it would be that humans don’t change. May be we play under different systems and under different circumstances but the underlying nature of human is what determines the course he will take and every now and then there always will be someone who can find loopholes in the system or break the law with impunity. There is nothing left for society but to pick up the pieces and try to move forward and may be for a change punish the ones responsible.
P.S – Read on rediff.com that the wealth of Mr Mubarak amounts to roughly $5 billion and that is a conservative estimate. What can I say Hats off to you Mr Mubarak.

Fight Club Movie Review

Directed by David Fincher and stars Edward Norton, Brad Pitt, and Helena Bonham Carter, Fight Club is an adaptation of the novel “Fight Club” written by Chuck Palahnuik. There is one thing that can be said about fight club, either you will really love it or you will really hate it. There is just no middle path about it.

I for one liked the movie. The movie has everything in it to make it a cult film. “An average men lives a life of quiet desperation”, Fight Club not only brings out that desperation but twists it, shows a form of vent and provides you with a hell of a climax. The film has great one liners :
“The first rule of fight club is do not talk about fight club”
“Self improvement is masturbation"
“We just lost cabin pressure”

"Man, I see in fight club the strongest and smartest men who've ever lived. I see all this potential, and I see squandering. God damn it, an entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables; slaves with white collars. Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don't need. We're the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War's a spiritual war... our Great Depression is our lives. We've all been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won't. And we're slowly learning that fact. And we're very, very pissed off. "

"Now, a question of etiquette - as I pass, do I give you the ass or the crotch? "

and a host of others. The narration is where the movie really scores. The direction and performances are sterling to say the least.
The film is not just a story but a way of life, a philosophy in making. The philosophy is anti consumerism , and advocates a nihilistic approach.
Norton plays the role of an average guy stuck in cubicle and an insomniac. He was so screwed up that he becomes addicted to support groups and this is where he met Helena, who also was a faker. There is no way out for him till he met Brad Pitt and his life changed forever. He moves in with him and started the life that Brad Pitt (Tyler) was living. Brad Pitt has really interesting theories about life and it amuses and contradicts everything we believe in but makes a point too. Fight Club was formed as a result of pent up frustration and no way to get it out. Slowly but certainly the number of members in fight club starts increasing and in time it was opened in a couple of places. The film concludes with “Project Mayhem” and a dramatic end.
Watch the movie once for you may really like it or you will really hate me for recommending it to you.

Barack Obama and India

The call for votes has got shriller on Indian soil. No these are not for the votes in Bihar elections rather the calls are made for American votes from India. Strange? Not really. After the recent drubbings Obama has been kind of desperate and hence his successful Indian visit is measured by the number of jobs that will be created in US. It seems the American Population is tired of the “Change Agent ” and hence they are seeking change at the presidency level and “Yes They Can”.
As a kid, I use to see “tight rope walking” act performed by street side artist whereby a kid would walk a rope tied to two posts and balance a pot on his head. He would also use a stick to balance himself.
Obama’s situation looks eerily similar to that kid only he is well dressed and better fed. As he walks the tight rope he has to appease India (begging India to open up and sounding anti protectionist) on the one hand and woo American voters (creating jobs and shouting anti outsourcing rhetoric) on the other. The pot balanced on his head is his presidency and the stick used to balance himself is Afghanistan which can easily led to his downfall.
The desperate situation of Obama can be gauged by the fact that his advisors had almost converted every deal he signs in terms of the jobs that will be created back home.
I cannot blame Mr Obama for asking for votes from Indian soil for we have been doing this our entire life (post freedom). Garnering votes by whatever means whether it be promising bikes to school children or bribing the constituency has been our specialty and it seems Obama has figured out what we do best.
All I can say is congrats Mr Obama for taking back 54000 jobs back with himself.

Rendezvous '10 Dhoom

On 24th of august, it was firmly established why Rendezvous IIT D is the biggest cultural fest in North India.
It was the third time that KK performed at IIT D and the audience loved, nah adored and lapped up his performance.


For me, the songs just took me a walk down the memory lane. "Yaaron dosti badi hi haseen hai" when sung by him kind of replayed my engineering days. The nothingness that used to fill my days, the passion with which we ranked the girls in our class, our senior batch, and our junior batch seemed like the most important task. We use to discuss almost everything under the sun except of course studies which was a taboo. Those were the days!!

The songs kept getting better and better. "Tadap tadap ke unplugged" unlocked the door of emotions which I have kept hidden and forgotten all about. This was the song which I use to sing when my girl friend at school left me. I remember singing this song a couple of times later in my life and after some time I just got used to heart break. Standing there however reminded me all about the dark days when I thought living is such a waste.

The night kept getting better and better. "Khuda Jaane from Bachna Ae Haseeno" had all the boys singing in their respective throaty voice for their current lovers, their imaginary lovers and for some to the unrequited love we are so familiar with.

The finest however was "Kal rahe na rahe yaad aayenge yeh pal" a line that aptly captures the emotion. A night of music before we get back to the world of classes, assignments, deadlines, placements. This is one night that I will remember long after it is gone.

For once IIT roared louder than the airplanes flying above us and who knows the loud screams were signs of the time to come. A loud impact that we all endeavor to make once we are out of IIT D campus.