Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Fight Club Revisted
Last night must have been the nth time I was watching Fight Club and it is probably not the last time either. There is something about the movie, the characters, the plot and underneath all of it the desperation of Edward Norton.
The movie is immensely likable though it flies in the face of conventional wisdom; it preaches chaos and the less trodden path. There might be something wrong about me but when in the last scene Edward Norton tells Marla Singer (Helene)” You met me in a very strange time of my life” with buildings collapsing all around and the music in the background, it was way more romantic than it seems.
Not to mention the one liners that the movie has and the alternate philosophy that it propagates, pure work of awesomeness.
Just to make it clear, the following lines by Tyler Durden (Brad Pitt)
“Man, I see in fight club the strongest and smartest men who've ever lived. I see all this potential, and I see squandering. God damn it, an entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables; slaves with white collars. Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don't need. We're the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War's a spiritual war... our Great Depression is our lives. We've all been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won't. And we're slowly learning that fact. And we're very, very pissed off”
Some more that really makes sense
“You're not your job. You're not how much money you have in the bank. You're not the car you drive. You're not the contents of your wallet. You're not your fucking khakis. You're the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world.”
If people really adopt this line of thinking it would be a marketing manager/brand manager’s worst nightmare come true.
And the way the narrator keeps personifying himself as individual part of Jack’s life:
“I am Jack's inflamed sense of rejection”
“I am Jack's wasted life”.
The tone that the movie takes against consumerism and getting knee deep in dark territory as against movies that shoots in breathtaking locales and keep serving the old wine in new bottle is both refreshing and entertaining.
So if you have seen the movie, you can see it once again and if you have not what are you waiting for? This should be the next thing you do today.
Thursday, June 16, 2011
IT Employee Day @ Work
This is how I roll, I roll like this.(Ever since I heard this song I wanted to use it)
A typical day starts for me at around 8 when I open my eyes say a loud hello to sick and bloody world that is getting worse with every passing day. People say I am optimistic well I cannot disagree, I am optimistic!!.
I reach office quite early say by around 10 am (Think its late? you need to get a life). My day starts with a proper workout,its imperative for me to be healthy or I will be taking sick leaves, so I go for gym.
I love going to gym, I however hate working out. Why pay so much effort lifting weights? I feel pity on those souls trying to lift weights to get that bulging biceps to impress girls, just earn cash bloke, different means to the same end!!.
Nonetheless I go to gym to run sometimes,other times its a cool place to hang out, music blaring, people struggling to lift weights and seeing all those contorted faces when they try to complete the last repetition, people cheating on barbell curls to lift more weights. Oh vanity!! what have you done to these normal looking people.
After I take stock of gym, I have a post workout snack (lol). Post workout meal is very important for muscles to recover. I do not want my muscles to be sore and all tired while I put in effort for the work. I need to be fit for working.
I come back to my desk, there is almost everyday a meeting scheduled. I love meetings, every body pretend to do something(they have not done shit, myself included), ideas flow thick and fast and there is a monologue from the manager while an ass kisser (there is one present everytime. I bet he was an ass kisser in college too) would vigorously agree with the manager.
After a boring and tedious meeting, it is now time for lunch which I take rather luxuriously(no compromise on eating habits).
Post lunch is the nap session, a habit forced into me during college days (well boring lectures after lunch and hence no option but to sleep).
By the time I wake up it is already three. So for one hour before the snacks start I check my emails, Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter, Blog and what not. If I am not feeling like having snacks courtesy heavy lunch, I participate eagerly in team building exercises. I therefore play foosball with all other employees.
I have my snacks, return to my cubicle and continue the work which I have been doing throughout the day, I read about how to work effectively, getting more done in less time and then Times of India for my daily dose of entertainment. (Some sites are blocked:)).When all this is done I start packing my stuff and rest for some time. It has been quite a busy day and I am dead tired. If only the work load is reduced, I could put in much more creativity. Bloody Long Hours of Work, I say and sign off.
A typical day starts for me at around 8 when I open my eyes say a loud hello to sick and bloody world that is getting worse with every passing day. People say I am optimistic well I cannot disagree, I am optimistic!!.
I reach office quite early say by around 10 am (Think its late? you need to get a life). My day starts with a proper workout,its imperative for me to be healthy or I will be taking sick leaves, so I go for gym.
I love going to gym, I however hate working out. Why pay so much effort lifting weights? I feel pity on those souls trying to lift weights to get that bulging biceps to impress girls, just earn cash bloke, different means to the same end!!.
Nonetheless I go to gym to run sometimes,other times its a cool place to hang out, music blaring, people struggling to lift weights and seeing all those contorted faces when they try to complete the last repetition, people cheating on barbell curls to lift more weights. Oh vanity!! what have you done to these normal looking people.
After I take stock of gym, I have a post workout snack (lol). Post workout meal is very important for muscles to recover. I do not want my muscles to be sore and all tired while I put in effort for the work. I need to be fit for working.
I come back to my desk, there is almost everyday a meeting scheduled. I love meetings, every body pretend to do something(they have not done shit, myself included), ideas flow thick and fast and there is a monologue from the manager while an ass kisser (there is one present everytime. I bet he was an ass kisser in college too) would vigorously agree with the manager.
After a boring and tedious meeting, it is now time for lunch which I take rather luxuriously(no compromise on eating habits).
Post lunch is the nap session, a habit forced into me during college days (well boring lectures after lunch and hence no option but to sleep).
By the time I wake up it is already three. So for one hour before the snacks start I check my emails, Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter, Blog and what not. If I am not feeling like having snacks courtesy heavy lunch, I participate eagerly in team building exercises. I therefore play foosball with all other employees.
I have my snacks, return to my cubicle and continue the work which I have been doing throughout the day, I read about how to work effectively, getting more done in less time and then Times of India for my daily dose of entertainment. (Some sites are blocked:)).When all this is done I start packing my stuff and rest for some time. It has been quite a busy day and I am dead tired. If only the work load is reduced, I could put in much more creativity. Bloody Long Hours of Work, I say and sign off.
Monday, June 13, 2011
The Ramdev Episode!!
Can I please not take a side this time around? I want to see from the sidelines how one of the most hilarious drama plays out.
The drama involves two main protaganist and rest of the cast is immaterial or rather I would not concentrate on them. The lead character is a Baba variously described as 'Thug Baba' or the 'Yoga Guru' and in some parlance as 'The Saviour'. Well I would not know which is his true colour nor do I intend to find out.
The second character or characters is the state of India or Govt of India or PM of India or Gandhi Family heirloom.
The drama deals with Baba's quest to find relevance in the political space. After creating ripples with famous yoga asanas and acquiring tonnes of followers, Baba wants to change the landscape of politics in India. Well who could blame him. I want to change the landscape too. The current govt behaves like a bunch of headless chickens running around, PM and Sonia Gandhi it seems have taken a vow of silence in all matters concerning the country. Govt provides for ample of opportunities to attack it and sadly the opposition keeps letting the opportunities go be it rise of petrol price, scams after scams and then some more and finally the black money plank. The opposition sadly slept through it all. This is when the saviour decided to take up the issue himself after a Gandhian's successful agitation against the govt.
The govt was mightily confused as in how to deal with a Baba. They laid out a red carpet welcome for him and when the demand list of Baba did not disappear, the Empire struck back, pelted him and his followers with tear gas. This will inevitably be followed by IT Dept raids which behaves like black operations arm of government and if this does not help then, CBI of course.
This altercation as it turns out enhanced the credibility of baba who according to sources can cure homosexuality. What started out as a drama soon started to draw comparisons with Jallianwala Bagh and the Emergency.
Hounded by the security forces, the Baba fled in the garb of women and finally went to Haridwar to continue protesting against the state. He is paid visits by none other than sadhvi herself and other prominent politicians. All this at a time when I thought that Indian politics has been at its lowest now and can only go up from here. Something tells me that drama is going to continue for couple more days before the curtains are drawn. I so desperately wish that sadhvi stops visiting Baba for political advice for he was about to start armed rebellion of sorts by voicing call for arms.
Meanwhile Baba tries his best to save his face with the help of another Baba on whose request he decided to take food again. Thus the curtains were drawn.If I may venture,historians should call this part of Indian Politics as “Baba's Rising” for something tells me we have not seen the last of him.
Sunday, June 5, 2011
Mother and Child.
It was my summer vacation and for a change I visited my brother for it has been long and I wanted to see my niece.It was only ten days holiday before I go for my job, so staying at brother's seemed like a good idea.
My niece is only 6 months now and she does not do much except may be smile once in a while and most of the time she is crying. My sister in law is in charge of home and brother goes to his shop..
After only two days I realised my sister in law has changed much, she looks haggard, tired and sometimes cranky too. I cannot blame her, there is home to take care of, make food and then take care of baby. The baby by the way seems very smart to me, as soon as she realises mum is not around she would holler bringing sister in law to drop everything and tend to her. The niece would do that everytime sister in law is having food, cooking food and almost certainly when she is sleeping. If she does not get the requisite attention, she would vomit, excrete and what not.
My niece biological has not set in so far and so she would wake up in the middle of night crying. Even I was awake by her shrieking even though I am considered a sound sleeper, imagine the plight of near ones. All through this and my sister in law never complained. She would get extra concerned if the baby is not eating or not sleeping or anything out of the ordinary. The ordinary being rampant crying and disturbing her.
Frankly speaking I found it more troublesome and tedious than tending to the business and she never got the due credit. In those ten days, I have seen my sister in law talking about her baby all time, till it was little annoying for me, worrying almost about everything concerned with her and getting no more than 2 hours of consecutive sleep. No wonder she was haggard, tired and cranky.
Then one day the niece did something new, something she had never done before, she rolled over and then she did the usual, she started crying. My sister in law appeared like Flash in a moment and asked me,
“Did you do this?”
“Do what?” I asked back. Frankly I was little scared for sis in law is not rational when it comes to her kid.
“Did you rolled her?”
“Nopes, she did it on her own account.” I said relieved. Am off the hook.
“Really?”
“Yes”
And from that moment on, she was on cloud nine, the niece just rolled over. She could not wait to tell everyone, the first call went to the hubby dear, then to her mother and then to everyone willing to lend her an ear. She was ecstatic..
In that moment I realised what unconditional love is about. How can a person keep on giving and expecting nothing in return and how one can endure all the sleepless nights and yet enjoy the process.Even though my sister in law is aware of the fact that in few years the niece will give her hard time, not listen to her and forget all the effort that she put in to bring her up, yet she continue to shower her with love and care.
That according to me was the display of real beauty, not the size zero perfect model, not the feat of engineering that is bugati veyron, nothing came close to describe the bond between the dependent child and the unconditional mother and that I believe is the real beauty.
I have written this post for Yahoo! India and Dove "I Believe in Real Beauty" under the topic "What does real beauty mean to me?"
Don't forget to visit:
Dove Real Beauty on Yahoo! India
You might also like
Adversity called Exams, Dancing woes, Falling in Love
My niece is only 6 months now and she does not do much except may be smile once in a while and most of the time she is crying. My sister in law is in charge of home and brother goes to his shop..
After only two days I realised my sister in law has changed much, she looks haggard, tired and sometimes cranky too. I cannot blame her, there is home to take care of, make food and then take care of baby. The baby by the way seems very smart to me, as soon as she realises mum is not around she would holler bringing sister in law to drop everything and tend to her. The niece would do that everytime sister in law is having food, cooking food and almost certainly when she is sleeping. If she does not get the requisite attention, she would vomit, excrete and what not.
My niece biological has not set in so far and so she would wake up in the middle of night crying. Even I was awake by her shrieking even though I am considered a sound sleeper, imagine the plight of near ones. All through this and my sister in law never complained. She would get extra concerned if the baby is not eating or not sleeping or anything out of the ordinary. The ordinary being rampant crying and disturbing her.
Frankly speaking I found it more troublesome and tedious than tending to the business and she never got the due credit. In those ten days, I have seen my sister in law talking about her baby all time, till it was little annoying for me, worrying almost about everything concerned with her and getting no more than 2 hours of consecutive sleep. No wonder she was haggard, tired and cranky.
Then one day the niece did something new, something she had never done before, she rolled over and then she did the usual, she started crying. My sister in law appeared like Flash in a moment and asked me,
“Did you do this?”
“Do what?” I asked back. Frankly I was little scared for sis in law is not rational when it comes to her kid.
“Did you rolled her?”
“Nopes, she did it on her own account.” I said relieved. Am off the hook.
“Really?”
“Yes”
And from that moment on, she was on cloud nine, the niece just rolled over. She could not wait to tell everyone, the first call went to the hubby dear, then to her mother and then to everyone willing to lend her an ear. She was ecstatic..
In that moment I realised what unconditional love is about. How can a person keep on giving and expecting nothing in return and how one can endure all the sleepless nights and yet enjoy the process.Even though my sister in law is aware of the fact that in few years the niece will give her hard time, not listen to her and forget all the effort that she put in to bring her up, yet she continue to shower her with love and care.
That according to me was the display of real beauty, not the size zero perfect model, not the feat of engineering that is bugati veyron, nothing came close to describe the bond between the dependent child and the unconditional mother and that I believe is the real beauty.
I have written this post for Yahoo! India and Dove "I Believe in Real Beauty" under the topic "What does real beauty mean to me?"
Don't forget to visit:
Dove Real Beauty on Yahoo! India
You might also like
Adversity called Exams, Dancing woes, Falling in Love
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Adversity Called Exams
The one memory that has always remained with me of the school days and beyond has been the exam times. I have,like a good student,always hated nah despised the exams and the name itself was enough to put a frown on my face and still does.
But of late my hatred has subsided and in fact I have began increasingly liking the exams, well not the exams so much as the exams time. The first time the realization dawned on me, I was embarrassed and petrified. This should be mistake I thought. Why me God? I complained. What would my friends say? Have I lost the mental balance finally?How will I ever show my face to student community?
After a long period of soul searching and trying to find to find a reason for my erratic behaviour I have come to certain conclusions. This is not to be misconstrued as signs of insanity and under no circumstances as signs of emotional maturity but there are certain plausible reasons to why I have warmed to exam times.So before the student community ostracizes me and disowns me let me present my case.
The following are the reasons:
-Ideas flow thick and fast during exam times, it is almost like the mind is working on the overdrive and it focuses on everything but on the task at hand. Who can blame the brain, the task at hand are thick and heavy books which probably were used to crush skulls in the medieval times. Needless to say, some of the best ideas have come to me during the exams.
-Since the exams are so dreadfully dull, everything else seems to be more exciting. I found Golmaal 2 hilarious and dare I say slightly logical including the climax of the movie just because the alternative was so bad.
-We often descend into fits of laughter for no apparent reason other than the fact that we are getting screwed tomorrow. The fits of laughter could be unprovoked and have lasted as long as half an hour.
-The breaks that we take between study sessions extend from 5 minutes to well beyond 5 minutes and this is the time when we talk about politics, girls, literature, movies and everything else under the sun. Politics being politics and everyone being an expert (including me that is), we end up solving country's all problem and that includes poverty, starvation and unemployment too. Also imagine five men trying to figure out the deal with women, we never made any progress till date. We had better chance of cracking Bermuda Triangle's mystery.
-A major chunk of time is spent to discuss how the 'World Class Professors' could have taught us better. Never minding the fact that we should try listening for a change.
-A word about sleep, ordinarily you may sleep around 5/6 hours and yet sustain but in exams you need 8 hours minimum and thats the best sleep you are ever going to get.So if nothing else appreciate the exams for it acts like a sleeping pill.
-If you are someone like me, then you have completed only half of the syllabus. So in the exam, I am waiting to see the paper with all my senses heightened, it is similar to having sex blindfolded(not that I will know what that feels like but have read enough).
-In case the paper screws us, I would look stupidly at my friend who in turn would be grinning from ear to ear knowing fully well that we have been severely screwed and that we have to study this subject better for the next minors or majors as the case may be.
-In the intervening two hours, my neck would crane at impossible angles just to have a look at what the other chap is writing. In case the teacher warns me I would defiantly say “he does not know anything either” and try to look at his paper again just in case:).
-After every exam we make a promise, from next semester we are going to be regular and like true Indian Politicians we have never kept our words.
You might also like "Joys of Jogging", "My MBA Class" and "Mayawati's First"
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Of World Class and Shakers
After the recent attacks on the Pakistan's naval base the debate is back on in the international and the national media whether Pakistan can really secure their nuclear assets. Every Tom, Dick and Harry is busy giving advice to Pakistan how to go about it but I decided not to jump the bandwagon. The reason is simple, I am not an expert on he issue and I have already advised them on what not to do in my previous post.
This post is more about our swashbuckling Environment Minister who tends to court one controversy after another. Not that I am complaining, I am instead planning to ask him if I can write his biography. I have already planned for it and it will be written in three volumes. The first will be called 'The man who kicked Posco's Ass', the second will be called 'The man who redefined WORLD CLASS' and the third's title is still to be decided for I feel he will kick hornet's nest sooner rather than later. And as soon as that happens the third volume's title will be a no brainer.
Though the issue of World Class may have been hijacked now by the politicians and the debate on it went on it like it does on every other topic in India. Congress people call BJP people third class and not qualified to talk on it (as if they are first class themselves!!) while BJP demanded for World Class Ministers from Congress(like BJP have produced World Class Leaders!!). While the political parties who were vying for the limelight stole the debate, the real voices that of teachers and students that should be heard is lost in the clatter. Read more
Seriously is it just me or you also feel that politicians just do not debate anymore but they bitch about each other like they are in some saas bahu serial. I blame Ekta Kapoor for the rot and demand that she be imprisoned or at least her shows are banned(no reason I just have personal vendetta against her)
While the politicians were busy redefining World Class, Pakistan yet again matched India. Remember how Pakistan plays catch up with India. India wins the World Cup in '83 they do it in '92. India tests the Nuclear bomb they do it too. This time when India sent them the 'Most Wanted Lists' with many of the most wanted fugitives sitting comfortably in India or dead, they gave a fitting reply. They have named Sania Mirza as among the top women personalities of Pakistan though she is still an Indian citizen and lives in Dubai. What the heck, if India can claim that Most wanted terrorist live in Pakistan while he was in Thane they can certainly lay claim on Sania Mirza. Eye for an eye.:)
While so much is going on I read that Ramesh Sahab is batting for elephants in 'Elephants 8'. Have i found the title to my third volume already.
You will also like
Mayawati's First, Tihar Connection and Daily Dose of Entertainment
This post is more about our swashbuckling Environment Minister who tends to court one controversy after another. Not that I am complaining, I am instead planning to ask him if I can write his biography. I have already planned for it and it will be written in three volumes. The first will be called 'The man who kicked Posco's Ass', the second will be called 'The man who redefined WORLD CLASS' and the third's title is still to be decided for I feel he will kick hornet's nest sooner rather than later. And as soon as that happens the third volume's title will be a no brainer.
Though the issue of World Class may have been hijacked now by the politicians and the debate on it went on it like it does on every other topic in India. Congress people call BJP people third class and not qualified to talk on it (as if they are first class themselves!!) while BJP demanded for World Class Ministers from Congress(like BJP have produced World Class Leaders!!). While the political parties who were vying for the limelight stole the debate, the real voices that of teachers and students that should be heard is lost in the clatter. Read more
Seriously is it just me or you also feel that politicians just do not debate anymore but they bitch about each other like they are in some saas bahu serial. I blame Ekta Kapoor for the rot and demand that she be imprisoned or at least her shows are banned(no reason I just have personal vendetta against her)
While the politicians were busy redefining World Class, Pakistan yet again matched India. Remember how Pakistan plays catch up with India. India wins the World Cup in '83 they do it in '92. India tests the Nuclear bomb they do it too. This time when India sent them the 'Most Wanted Lists' with many of the most wanted fugitives sitting comfortably in India or dead, they gave a fitting reply. They have named Sania Mirza as among the top women personalities of Pakistan though she is still an Indian citizen and lives in Dubai. What the heck, if India can claim that Most wanted terrorist live in Pakistan while he was in Thane they can certainly lay claim on Sania Mirza. Eye for an eye.:)
While so much is going on I read that Ramesh Sahab is batting for elephants in 'Elephants 8'. Have i found the title to my third volume already.
You will also like
Mayawati's First, Tihar Connection and Daily Dose of Entertainment
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Abbotabad, Osama and lessons for Pakistan.
An age old and true saying goes “As you sow so shall you reap”, something which have been taught to us in schools and something which we are expected to remember.
But people have short memory not like 'Memento' short term but short term enough to forget the lesson in the later stages of life. History is a potent teacher but who reads history anyway? It is about dates and of bygone era who nobody cares about,least of all politicians and not just in India but World over.
A case in point is the recent attack on the Mehran Naval Base in Pakistan. The Pakistan franchise of Taliban attacked and destroyed about one third of their maritime capability. Funny, for the P3-C's were never meant for terrorism but were acquired to blunt India's naval edge over Pakistan. Having done that,now the Pakistan Taliban will be hoping that Osama is reading news in heaven and not participating in an orgy and drunk out of his wits,for the attack was to revenge the martyr,whose martyrdom by the way would be used for further recruits.
The military leadership of Pakistan comprises of smart people and smart people are known to do dumb things. What, don't believe me, the recession, Satyam , Enron and the list goes on and on. The Pakistani leadership in the smart move cultivated strategic assets (not the silicone kind) but dangerous looking, trigger happy assets which have come back to bite at their ass and by the looks of it they are biting huge chunks of it. They would have done better if they just saw around the world that strategic assets never really remain just that.
They did not have to see far for they could have learned from their ever friendly neighbour India (friendly despite Kargil, Parliament Attacks, Mumbai attacks, pardon me if I have forgotten some more but there are so many of it now). Remember the nurturing of Khalistan rebels by Indira Gandhi as a strategic asset and how did it end up? Assassination of Indira Gandhi, decades of insurgency in Punjab and thousands of deaths later, the status quo achieved. The status quo being no Greater Punjab and no separate Sikh state.
The same was the case with LTTE. The Indian Peace Keeping Force had to bite dust, the Indian Government's dream of being a regional power shattered and it resulted in the assassination of another of our Prime Minister.
But why would Pakistan learn anything from India, we are the sworn enemy, the arch rival, the cause for every one of their problems. Well it's fine, dont learn from us, learn from your biggest donor. Ask Uncle Sam, they ought to know a thing or two about cultivating strategic assets for they were the one who encouraged Osama to take on Soviet Union. And how did that end for Uncle Sam, 9/11 and a decade of war against terrorism during the course of which they befriended and supplied military aid to the epicentre of terrorism.
But may be the Pak military does not need to hear it from their donor too for they must have heard the account first hand from Osama during his stay in Abbotabad. What? You think the military was unawares of his presence? I think, the military sat with Osama, laughed about how they are fleecing America and the World and how they are the smartest until one day of course they were paid a visit by SEAL's.
Sooner or later the strategic assets created to disturb the neighbouring country comes back to bite your ass and they do it really bad. So there may still be time for Pakistan to stop considering Taliban as their strategic asset in Afghanistan for going by this rate, there may not be a Pakistan in the future.
If you like this you will love
Mayawati's first, Daily Dose of Entertainment and My Tihar Connection.
But people have short memory not like 'Memento' short term but short term enough to forget the lesson in the later stages of life. History is a potent teacher but who reads history anyway? It is about dates and of bygone era who nobody cares about,least of all politicians and not just in India but World over.
A case in point is the recent attack on the Mehran Naval Base in Pakistan. The Pakistan franchise of Taliban attacked and destroyed about one third of their maritime capability. Funny, for the P3-C's were never meant for terrorism but were acquired to blunt India's naval edge over Pakistan. Having done that,now the Pakistan Taliban will be hoping that Osama is reading news in heaven and not participating in an orgy and drunk out of his wits,for the attack was to revenge the martyr,whose martyrdom by the way would be used for further recruits.
The military leadership of Pakistan comprises of smart people and smart people are known to do dumb things. What, don't believe me, the recession, Satyam , Enron and the list goes on and on. The Pakistani leadership in the smart move cultivated strategic assets (not the silicone kind) but dangerous looking, trigger happy assets which have come back to bite at their ass and by the looks of it they are biting huge chunks of it. They would have done better if they just saw around the world that strategic assets never really remain just that.
They did not have to see far for they could have learned from their ever friendly neighbour India (friendly despite Kargil, Parliament Attacks, Mumbai attacks, pardon me if I have forgotten some more but there are so many of it now). Remember the nurturing of Khalistan rebels by Indira Gandhi as a strategic asset and how did it end up? Assassination of Indira Gandhi, decades of insurgency in Punjab and thousands of deaths later, the status quo achieved. The status quo being no Greater Punjab and no separate Sikh state.
The same was the case with LTTE. The Indian Peace Keeping Force had to bite dust, the Indian Government's dream of being a regional power shattered and it resulted in the assassination of another of our Prime Minister.
But why would Pakistan learn anything from India, we are the sworn enemy, the arch rival, the cause for every one of their problems. Well it's fine, dont learn from us, learn from your biggest donor. Ask Uncle Sam, they ought to know a thing or two about cultivating strategic assets for they were the one who encouraged Osama to take on Soviet Union. And how did that end for Uncle Sam, 9/11 and a decade of war against terrorism during the course of which they befriended and supplied military aid to the epicentre of terrorism.
But may be the Pak military does not need to hear it from their donor too for they must have heard the account first hand from Osama during his stay in Abbotabad. What? You think the military was unawares of his presence? I think, the military sat with Osama, laughed about how they are fleecing America and the World and how they are the smartest until one day of course they were paid a visit by SEAL's.
Sooner or later the strategic assets created to disturb the neighbouring country comes back to bite your ass and they do it really bad. So there may still be time for Pakistan to stop considering Taliban as their strategic asset in Afghanistan for going by this rate, there may not be a Pakistan in the future.
If you like this you will love
Mayawati's first, Daily Dose of Entertainment and My Tihar Connection.
Friday, May 20, 2011
Of Sleepless Nights and Random Thoughts
It has been three nights in a row, no sleep, no rest and no peace whatsoever. It is not heat, nor it is love but it is the constant buzzing, mind numbing, the most irritating sound being played in my ears. Damn you mosquitoes, please let me have a good night of sleep.
I know I should be using the mortein coil or the mortein liquidator but believe me i have tried every possible thing. I tried using mortein liquid the first night but it did not work, then in the middle of the night i woke up to use the coil too,certain that with the joint attack of the coil and the liquidator, mosquitoes wont stand a chance. But they are mutants, evolved into some new creature and not affected by the mortein. So next day, rather night I devised an even better strategy, I used the mortein coil and the all out liquidator certain that the cock tail would definitely be effective, on the contrary they attacked with renewed vigour.
A man can only take so much and so I ran away from the room gasping and breathing hard, the second night was gone too but it was only 2 in the night and I have another 4 minimum hours to spend. What could I do? Ever spent two sleepless nights, it can drive you crazy.
One after another crazy thoughts kept entering my mind. Can I do something like Parshuram did, that is pick up my axe and go after all the kshatriyas. Can I pick up an electrified badminton racket and go after all the mosquitoes? Only the thought that they play an important part in the ecosystem saved them that night or else I was gonna do a Parshuram on the mosquitoes.
Another thought that entered my mind was, can I become a superhero kind ala spiderman due to mosquito bites. Are these mosquitoes by any chance radioactive? And if yes what would my powers be?
Would I be buzzing endlessly in the ears of criminals till they surrender or kill themselves? Or I can bite them but somehow i was not comfortable with the idea of biting filthy, dirty criminals. If the criminal is a drop dead gorgeous female then may be nah i will definitely change my style and bite her, does that make me a sexist superhero? A superhero that bites the females and irritates the male criminal does not really sound like the description of a hero nonetheless I am free to choose my style of attack.
I was well on my way to design a costume for myself but the fact that i have never been any good at designing stopped me from going for the pencil and paper and the last vestiges of sanity that remained prevented me from making a call to my friend who is good with designing to design my costume. Well that and the fact that my secret will then not be a secret anymore. What kind of superhero takes help in designing a costume for himself. While i was lost in thinking all these, somehow the morning dawned and i was beside myself with pleasure.
(A note to myself) No more superhero movies for me and definitely no Justice League and Batman animations, I am losing track of reality.
Finally the last night. This time I stared the mosquito right into his eyes for I was prepared. I took out an Odomos cream, applied generously all over myself, put a mortein coil and an all out coil and a liquidator. If the mosquitoes still manage to get to me, I am suing all these companies. I dont know which one worked but I was victorious today. I have conquered my foe. Besides getting a good night sleep, there were other perks too.
Since I have been sleeping with mortein, odomos and all out, i smell like them too. All the Wild Stone (which by the way is a complete lie, no female drooled over me:() of the world cannot take that smell away from you and today when i boarded the congested bus to report to my office, people made way for me. Talk about being feeling Royal.
And with the key to defeat mosquitoes, I can definitely quote Black Eyed Peas, “Tonight's gonna be a good night”.
You may also like
Falling in Love, My Tihar Connection and My Love for Jogging
I know I should be using the mortein coil or the mortein liquidator but believe me i have tried every possible thing. I tried using mortein liquid the first night but it did not work, then in the middle of the night i woke up to use the coil too,certain that with the joint attack of the coil and the liquidator, mosquitoes wont stand a chance. But they are mutants, evolved into some new creature and not affected by the mortein. So next day, rather night I devised an even better strategy, I used the mortein coil and the all out liquidator certain that the cock tail would definitely be effective, on the contrary they attacked with renewed vigour.
A man can only take so much and so I ran away from the room gasping and breathing hard, the second night was gone too but it was only 2 in the night and I have another 4 minimum hours to spend. What could I do? Ever spent two sleepless nights, it can drive you crazy.
One after another crazy thoughts kept entering my mind. Can I do something like Parshuram did, that is pick up my axe and go after all the kshatriyas. Can I pick up an electrified badminton racket and go after all the mosquitoes? Only the thought that they play an important part in the ecosystem saved them that night or else I was gonna do a Parshuram on the mosquitoes.
Another thought that entered my mind was, can I become a superhero kind ala spiderman due to mosquito bites. Are these mosquitoes by any chance radioactive? And if yes what would my powers be?
Would I be buzzing endlessly in the ears of criminals till they surrender or kill themselves? Or I can bite them but somehow i was not comfortable with the idea of biting filthy, dirty criminals. If the criminal is a drop dead gorgeous female then may be nah i will definitely change my style and bite her, does that make me a sexist superhero? A superhero that bites the females and irritates the male criminal does not really sound like the description of a hero nonetheless I am free to choose my style of attack.
I was well on my way to design a costume for myself but the fact that i have never been any good at designing stopped me from going for the pencil and paper and the last vestiges of sanity that remained prevented me from making a call to my friend who is good with designing to design my costume. Well that and the fact that my secret will then not be a secret anymore. What kind of superhero takes help in designing a costume for himself. While i was lost in thinking all these, somehow the morning dawned and i was beside myself with pleasure.
(A note to myself) No more superhero movies for me and definitely no Justice League and Batman animations, I am losing track of reality.
Finally the last night. This time I stared the mosquito right into his eyes for I was prepared. I took out an Odomos cream, applied generously all over myself, put a mortein coil and an all out coil and a liquidator. If the mosquitoes still manage to get to me, I am suing all these companies. I dont know which one worked but I was victorious today. I have conquered my foe. Besides getting a good night sleep, there were other perks too.
Since I have been sleeping with mortein, odomos and all out, i smell like them too. All the Wild Stone (which by the way is a complete lie, no female drooled over me:() of the world cannot take that smell away from you and today when i boarded the congested bus to report to my office, people made way for me. Talk about being feeling Royal.
And with the key to defeat mosquitoes, I can definitely quote Black Eyed Peas, “Tonight's gonna be a good night”.
You may also like
Falling in Love, My Tihar Connection and My Love for Jogging
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Another First for Mayawati
Its been long since I last posted something on my blog. So i might as well start by making a confession that has been gnawing me for a long time. I have been a big fan of Mayawati, always was and always will be. There I said it and it took lot of courage. She may not be favourite of the English press or the English speaking population of India but there is something different about her.
She is the one who social engineered the whole of UP and got votes from both the Dalits and Brahmins. Who has been able to ever achieve that in India? Not only that, she may be the only Indian Politician to have a taste in monuments and animals, hence the construction of elephants all over Lucknow. Now she may have splurged the tax payers money but that's a trivial matter, who does not? Ask Kalmadi, tax payer's money is to be wasted one way or the other. It either goes in the offshore bank account of politicians or in satisfying your megalomania schemes. At least she is making elephants out of it.
But these are all history, the latest that she has managed is historical, to say the least. She has managed to make Rahul Gandhi ashamed of being an Indian. In fact she managed to get a confession out of Amul Baby that he is ashamed of being an Indian after the way he saw how UP is ruled.
To put Rahul Gandhi to shame is no easy task. He does not get ashamed easily. He is not ashamed of the fact that his grandmother almost razed Golden Temple to the ground or of the fact that his grandmother was the one who gave the deadliest blow to Indian Democracy by declaring an emergency and unleashing Sanjay Gandhi on unsuspecting masses. But then it was quite long and he may have forgotten about it. However even the present misdoings of the government do not affect him.
He is not ashamed of the corruption and the resulting bad press that India got after the CWG. Of course it was under the purview of Organising Committee but what the heck there is Kalmadi to take the fall.
He is not ashamed of the 2G scandal whereby the coalition partner so efficiently managed to steal thousands of crores of exchequerer's money. No effort was made to nab the culprit instead one of his lieutenants went on to say that 2G scam was public service and hence there is no question of loss to exchequerer. This was one hell of a neat trick.
He is not even ashamed of ISRO scam which was directly under the purview of Prime Ministers Office (PMO). Well of course the PM was caught unawares because he was kow towing to 10 Janpath all the time, he had no time for his prime ministerial duties.
He is not ashamed of coalition with Left Parties whose reign of terror in WB left it shattered and on the brink of oblivion.
He is not ashamed of the cash for votes scandal when the Left withdrew its support and Congress went begging to Samajwadi Party and later ditched it. After all this it still claims to be a party with an ideology.
But Behenji is in a different league altogether. She has managed to rile up the farmers, got Amul Baby to make another of his famous visits to farmer's house for dinner and in another series of firsts have managed to put Amul Baby to shame. That if nothing else deserves a round of applause, so what if the farmers will still lose their land. This is what farmers are for, to be a pawn in the political games of high and mighty.
This round may go to Amul Baby but I am happy with the knowledge that the heir apparent can be ashamed and can still feel the pain of common people though only in the states not ruled by Congress.
Just to make my point, here is another person who shares my view point
Rahul Baba
She is the one who social engineered the whole of UP and got votes from both the Dalits and Brahmins. Who has been able to ever achieve that in India? Not only that, she may be the only Indian Politician to have a taste in monuments and animals, hence the construction of elephants all over Lucknow. Now she may have splurged the tax payers money but that's a trivial matter, who does not? Ask Kalmadi, tax payer's money is to be wasted one way or the other. It either goes in the offshore bank account of politicians or in satisfying your megalomania schemes. At least she is making elephants out of it.
But these are all history, the latest that she has managed is historical, to say the least. She has managed to make Rahul Gandhi ashamed of being an Indian. In fact she managed to get a confession out of Amul Baby that he is ashamed of being an Indian after the way he saw how UP is ruled.
To put Rahul Gandhi to shame is no easy task. He does not get ashamed easily. He is not ashamed of the fact that his grandmother almost razed Golden Temple to the ground or of the fact that his grandmother was the one who gave the deadliest blow to Indian Democracy by declaring an emergency and unleashing Sanjay Gandhi on unsuspecting masses. But then it was quite long and he may have forgotten about it. However even the present misdoings of the government do not affect him.
He is not ashamed of the corruption and the resulting bad press that India got after the CWG. Of course it was under the purview of Organising Committee but what the heck there is Kalmadi to take the fall.
He is not ashamed of the 2G scandal whereby the coalition partner so efficiently managed to steal thousands of crores of exchequerer's money. No effort was made to nab the culprit instead one of his lieutenants went on to say that 2G scam was public service and hence there is no question of loss to exchequerer. This was one hell of a neat trick.
He is not even ashamed of ISRO scam which was directly under the purview of Prime Ministers Office (PMO). Well of course the PM was caught unawares because he was kow towing to 10 Janpath all the time, he had no time for his prime ministerial duties.
He is not ashamed of coalition with Left Parties whose reign of terror in WB left it shattered and on the brink of oblivion.
He is not ashamed of the cash for votes scandal when the Left withdrew its support and Congress went begging to Samajwadi Party and later ditched it. After all this it still claims to be a party with an ideology.
But Behenji is in a different league altogether. She has managed to rile up the farmers, got Amul Baby to make another of his famous visits to farmer's house for dinner and in another series of firsts have managed to put Amul Baby to shame. That if nothing else deserves a round of applause, so what if the farmers will still lose their land. This is what farmers are for, to be a pawn in the political games of high and mighty.
This round may go to Amul Baby but I am happy with the knowledge that the heir apparent can be ashamed and can still feel the pain of common people though only in the states not ruled by Congress.
Just to make my point, here is another person who shares my view point
Rahul Baba
Friday, April 29, 2011
The Tihar Connection
This post has been selected for Saturday Spicy Posts for Blog Adda too.
After months of running after companies, I am yet to get a job. I do not know if it is my resume or my face but something about me definitely puts HR off (I like to believe it is my resume). It almost feels like the 1970’s movie whereby I keep going from office to office with my resume in hand and gets rejected everywhere I go.
I have almost hit the rock bottom and it felt like I will be in the bottomless pit for some time to come. All these years of education have made me good for nothing like the saying goes 'I was born intelligent but education ruined me'. I was frustrated, tired and desperate. I felt like things cannot go any worse and in desperation I took a very bold move. Desperate times call for desperate measures and in sync with this philosophy I added another bullet point in my resume.
• Served two months sentence in Tihar Jail.
And what do you know, I was hot property(I almost came back from dead), the moment I put Tihar in my resume. The next couple of interviews involved questions not from my engineering and management degree but the focus was on Tihar. Here is an excerpt.
HR – What were you in for?
Me- (I can see she was very curious) Nothing serious was just involved in a break in.
HR- Impressive!!Break in is a good start. So tell me how was the experience and about the facilities? (she was looking at me in such a way as if I would be somehow different having gone to jail once.)
Me- Well the facilities can depend on number of factors such as who you were outside the jail? The connections that you have and the connections that you can make.
HR- How would you rate your experience?
Me- Great actually. Learned more there in two months than the 20 years of pointless education.(And it is so true)
HR- Please elaborate.
Me- Well I learned about how to get by and who to contact in jail, endearing myself to seniors (basically boot licking), and other survival strategies the kind you see in ‘LOST’.
HR- Do you know anyone currently working there? Basically have you remain in contact with them?
Me- Yes, know quite a lot of them. I am friends with most of them. Frankly speaking, they are better than most people out here.(At which point she was shocked.) I hastily added 'No offence meant to anyone.'
HR- So one last question, do you have any problem in case you are relocated to Tihar jail.
Me- (Going to Tihar is a great opportunity, something which I would not pass for anything after all the top honchos have been there, the great politicians have been there. Seems like a great place to start) Well Mam I would be more than willing to relocate.
HR- That’s very good news. You can join from tomorrow, we have tonnes to do and I can use your help now.
Me- (Thats the first job offer ever made to me..Yay mu first job and that too in Tihar.)Great!! Mam what would be my job profile like?
HR- See JaaliEngineer honestly speaking we have selected you for our leadership profile. You know that’s the best we offer, but your job would be little different.
Me- Different how? (I was all set to go knee deep in the job and wanted to know the in and out of it)
HR- You would be required to conduct weekend workshop on ‘Survival in Tihar’ for our Top Managers and CXO’s and you have to use your contacts to get better facilities for our people in case they land up in Tihar.
Me- Why would they? And are not the facilities better there what with the who’s who inside?
HR- Yes it is but now it is more of an ego thing, our MD wants our people to have the best among all of them, that would be an added advantage in case our MD goes in too and we would need an inside man. You will be directly reporting to our MD, that’s one of the perks. Also next time we go for campus recruitment we can brag that we have Tihar Alumnus working among us. Going forward,surviving in jail and helping employee counsel during the jail term is going to be a major HR challenge. Meanwhile get ready because you will have a long day ahead.
To which i intended to say 'I was born ready' but decided against it.
I was exalted with my job, finally something that I did, be it the break in, paid dividends for me. I was jumping with joy for now i will get the chance to meet people who have been the MD's of the biggest corporations and I will also meet the politicians who if used effectively might help me during thr 4G.
Brace for me Tihar, here I come.
You might also like Dancing Woes and Falling in Love
After months of running after companies, I am yet to get a job. I do not know if it is my resume or my face but something about me definitely puts HR off (I like to believe it is my resume). It almost feels like the 1970’s movie whereby I keep going from office to office with my resume in hand and gets rejected everywhere I go.
I have almost hit the rock bottom and it felt like I will be in the bottomless pit for some time to come. All these years of education have made me good for nothing like the saying goes 'I was born intelligent but education ruined me'. I was frustrated, tired and desperate. I felt like things cannot go any worse and in desperation I took a very bold move. Desperate times call for desperate measures and in sync with this philosophy I added another bullet point in my resume.
• Served two months sentence in Tihar Jail.
And what do you know, I was hot property(I almost came back from dead), the moment I put Tihar in my resume. The next couple of interviews involved questions not from my engineering and management degree but the focus was on Tihar. Here is an excerpt.
HR – What were you in for?
Me- (I can see she was very curious) Nothing serious was just involved in a break in.
HR- Impressive!!Break in is a good start. So tell me how was the experience and about the facilities? (she was looking at me in such a way as if I would be somehow different having gone to jail once.)
Me- Well the facilities can depend on number of factors such as who you were outside the jail? The connections that you have and the connections that you can make.
HR- How would you rate your experience?
Me- Great actually. Learned more there in two months than the 20 years of pointless education.(And it is so true)
HR- Please elaborate.
Me- Well I learned about how to get by and who to contact in jail, endearing myself to seniors (basically boot licking), and other survival strategies the kind you see in ‘LOST’.
HR- Do you know anyone currently working there? Basically have you remain in contact with them?
Me- Yes, know quite a lot of them. I am friends with most of them. Frankly speaking, they are better than most people out here.(At which point she was shocked.) I hastily added 'No offence meant to anyone.'
HR- So one last question, do you have any problem in case you are relocated to Tihar jail.
Me- (Going to Tihar is a great opportunity, something which I would not pass for anything after all the top honchos have been there, the great politicians have been there. Seems like a great place to start) Well Mam I would be more than willing to relocate.
HR- That’s very good news. You can join from tomorrow, we have tonnes to do and I can use your help now.
Me- (Thats the first job offer ever made to me..Yay mu first job and that too in Tihar.)Great!! Mam what would be my job profile like?
HR- See JaaliEngineer honestly speaking we have selected you for our leadership profile. You know that’s the best we offer, but your job would be little different.
Me- Different how? (I was all set to go knee deep in the job and wanted to know the in and out of it)
HR- You would be required to conduct weekend workshop on ‘Survival in Tihar’ for our Top Managers and CXO’s and you have to use your contacts to get better facilities for our people in case they land up in Tihar.
Me- Why would they? And are not the facilities better there what with the who’s who inside?
HR- Yes it is but now it is more of an ego thing, our MD wants our people to have the best among all of them, that would be an added advantage in case our MD goes in too and we would need an inside man. You will be directly reporting to our MD, that’s one of the perks. Also next time we go for campus recruitment we can brag that we have Tihar Alumnus working among us. Going forward,surviving in jail and helping employee counsel during the jail term is going to be a major HR challenge. Meanwhile get ready because you will have a long day ahead.
To which i intended to say 'I was born ready' but decided against it.
I was exalted with my job, finally something that I did, be it the break in, paid dividends for me. I was jumping with joy for now i will get the chance to meet people who have been the MD's of the biggest corporations and I will also meet the politicians who if used effectively might help me during thr 4G.
Brace for me Tihar, here I come.
You might also like Dancing Woes and Falling in Love
Monday, April 25, 2011
Birthday Bash and Later..
They say your life as it stands today is the result of choices you made yesterday. I cannot agree more. This is why I strongly believe that people’s priorities must be firmly in place and clear in their head.
Tonight was one such conflict. I had two roads ahead of me, one leading to a friend’s birthday bash and the other urging me to complete my case study for tomorrow. One road would lead to fun and frolic and lifetime of memories, the other would hold me in good stead for times to come. While one is short term in nature and amounts to yielding to my pleasure centres, the other develops character and would make me fit for the challenges in life.
It was in the ultimate analysis no contest, for like my friend Frosty ‘I took the one less travelled by’ leading me to the birthday bash, fully aware that I would be in no state to complete case study when I come back.
The birthday celebration was as ‘Barnacle ’ would put it, legen wait for it dary. It was very much like a game of Russian Roulette whereby you can set the ball rolling and pray to God (and I don’t mean Sachin, remember the old one, the God Almighty, yes pray to him)for the results. But make sure that you don’t win for the winning means the remaining players will be taking your case so bad you would want to disappear like Tushar Kapoor did in Gayab. And in case you are lucky (read unlucky), the joke would linger for months and you might get a new nickname too.
The celebration lasted past midnight by which time I was down and out leaving the case study thing incomplete. If it was not for my roommate and his handsome contribution, our group was pretty much staring at the barrel of the gun.
Picture this, the next morning I wake up with a nasty headache and 5 hours of sleep and trying to understand Q optimum and Total Cost and what not, all the while, the world is spinning. Turns out Study and Drinks do not mix well and forms a heady cocktail.
So in that crippled state I went for the presentations. Meanwhile a word about presentations, ever heard about the Nazi firing squad, well the series of presentations are somewhat like that, only we take turns to shoot each other. So when my turn for the shooting came, I was feeling light and dizzy and was afraid that I am going to launch a vomiting projectile on all the first benchers. Believe me I was tempted but something told me it would not be a good idea and I decided against it.
Q Did I made a great presentation?
Ans: I doubt it.
Q Do I regret it?
Ans: Of course not.
Ten years down the line
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference
P.S- Wanted to name some people and the jokes too, but have to respect privacy thing and for those who were present, I think you know what I am talking about.
You might also like Falling in Love, Fight Club Movie Review
Here is the link to the poem "The Road Not Taken"
Tonight was one such conflict. I had two roads ahead of me, one leading to a friend’s birthday bash and the other urging me to complete my case study for tomorrow. One road would lead to fun and frolic and lifetime of memories, the other would hold me in good stead for times to come. While one is short term in nature and amounts to yielding to my pleasure centres, the other develops character and would make me fit for the challenges in life.
It was in the ultimate analysis no contest, for like my friend Frosty ‘I took the one less travelled by’ leading me to the birthday bash, fully aware that I would be in no state to complete case study when I come back.
The birthday celebration was as ‘Barnacle ’ would put it, legen wait for it dary. It was very much like a game of Russian Roulette whereby you can set the ball rolling and pray to God (and I don’t mean Sachin, remember the old one, the God Almighty, yes pray to him)for the results. But make sure that you don’t win for the winning means the remaining players will be taking your case so bad you would want to disappear like Tushar Kapoor did in Gayab. And in case you are lucky (read unlucky), the joke would linger for months and you might get a new nickname too.
The celebration lasted past midnight by which time I was down and out leaving the case study thing incomplete. If it was not for my roommate and his handsome contribution, our group was pretty much staring at the barrel of the gun.
Picture this, the next morning I wake up with a nasty headache and 5 hours of sleep and trying to understand Q optimum and Total Cost and what not, all the while, the world is spinning. Turns out Study and Drinks do not mix well and forms a heady cocktail.
So in that crippled state I went for the presentations. Meanwhile a word about presentations, ever heard about the Nazi firing squad, well the series of presentations are somewhat like that, only we take turns to shoot each other. So when my turn for the shooting came, I was feeling light and dizzy and was afraid that I am going to launch a vomiting projectile on all the first benchers. Believe me I was tempted but something told me it would not be a good idea and I decided against it.
Q Did I made a great presentation?
Ans: I doubt it.
Q Do I regret it?
Ans: Of course not.
Ten years down the line
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference
P.S- Wanted to name some people and the jokes too, but have to respect privacy thing and for those who were present, I think you know what I am talking about.
You might also like Falling in Love, Fight Club Movie Review
Here is the link to the poem "The Road Not Taken"
Friday, April 22, 2011
Daily Dose of Entertainment
After the legislative and the executive arm of the democratic society have gone to the dogs and that too literally, the next to fall is media. I still have some respect for Judiciary (the long winding process that it takes notwithstanding I believe it is still not as corrupt to be completely dysfunctional). Some would contest that Media has fallen from the grace long before and I am not debating that but now they make no bones about being in entertainment industry. So newspapers are providing me my daily dose of entertainment.
Of course I could switch to Hindu but it is not as visually appealing and it borders on utter boredom. So with my daily need of visually appealing news I am perfect audience of newspapers which write more about page 3 than the news.
Being a regular reader, I know very well that Liz Hurly is in India and coying with Warnie.
In fact I know the entire history whereby she first got hitched with Arun Nayar and then broke up with him to be with Warnie, Warnie was double timing her and so she went back to Arun and so forth, she went like a shuttle. (That’s too much info. Guess I really need a hobby.)
Similar is the love story between Anna Hazare and Sonia Gandhi, one day Hazare would fire away a letter and not an email but letter to Soniaji complaining that she indulges in smear politics and a week after that she would reply that she is not involved in any such activity. The whole exercise is in futility for Anna should know by now that politicians would deny just about everything let alone charges of indulging in smear politics. It may very well be my twisted mind but I think there is much more written in those letters, not meant for the delicate eyes of the Mango man.
No talk of entertainment is complete without a mention of Charlie Sheen. I must admit that I am a big fan of Charlie Sheen and why should I not be. The man lives a charmed life, booze, girls and money what else can one ask for.
Respectability?
What!
Never heard of any such thing.
After entertaining us by his gig in Two and Half Men and after being thrown out of the show, he shoots off his mouth in whichever direction. The new shot being Obama’s birth certificate is fake. Got to love this man, who writes his script? While he is at his insanity best he might as well say that Obama is virgin born, that would ruffle some feathers..
The best however is a Malaysian camp whose sole aim is to prevent the ‘effeminate boys’ from becoming gay. The boys are being exposed to a new way of life in this camp. I just wonder what goes on in those camps. Last heard they are inviting ‘Baba Ramdev’ for a series of guest lectures and workshops because he claims to have ‘cure ’ for homosexuality. I say ‘Ramdev’ must accept the offer because frankly his move into politics is nothing but a ridicule of sorts and so at least in this new avatar he will do what he does best, ‘pranayams’.
It is all a good means of entertainment and as long as newspapers are supplying it Who need news, nothing worthwhile happens anyway, the ‘news’ is definitely a better dose. Looking forward to tomorrow’s edition.
You might also like dancing woes and bschool
Monday, April 18, 2011
CitiBank Induction
Lokesh is a man who dons many hats, be it the anchor at Parivartan (DMS IITD cultural fest) or be it the batting mainstay of the team but most of all he is the Champion Sledger. He had the unique ability to get on the nerves of not one man but the 11 players of the opposite team. So when I saw his facebook post on his induction experience I immediately asked him if he can write a post about it for my blog. He agreed and as usual delivered more than can be asked..Below is the facebook update that inspired this post.
Kingfisher Delhi-Mum-Delhi : FOKAT
A night at Trident : FOKAT
Unlimited booze and live band at Hard Rock Cafe : FOKAT
Forgetting all luggage in a bus and chasing it down in an auto at 2 am : Rs. 600
There are some adventures you need to pay for, for everything else, there is
CITI BANK.
Phew!! Over. Finally done with. Did i want it to end so quick? Well..yes and no. But it will take some time to wear off my head for sure. Now before you start believing i’m talking about some steamy fling, let me dish out what the deal is about.
Let me call this 48 hours (sue me Danny Boyle). Stepping into a new citi (sic) to be welcomed in the confines of a 5 star luxury hotel, just for an induction process (training for training, if you may) is something most 23 year olds would settle for, especially when you don’t have to shell out a dime for it.
8 hours of induction cum intimidation by the business giants, up, close and err..just close ( housed 1st row) was a trough deep enough to really push me to an evening peak. And the peak sure was ‘high’ at Hard Rock Cafe - a smooth flow of music with continuous gulps to go with it. The ambience, staff, company, and any element i might have missed all get a mega \m/.
Time now to soak into some more of the lavishness thrown by the hotel people (my debut, need i say!!), and a nice cosy night to gear up for the day that followed. The breakfast of my life with a 4 digit bill, a drowsy day of business sessions, pleasantries exchanged and on the way back. The flight lands, and my eyes light up on seeing something i least expected at that hour (01:00) – a freaking bus!! A cab fare of 400 turning into 25 got me so ecstatic that i decided to ‘gift’ my laptop to the bus. Senses back in a bit - an auto chase, half a ton of calls, frantic prayers and 2 hours later, the divine decided my ordeal end and man and machine have a happy reunion.
Here i am at 04:00 telling you all about it. Find me the man who said CITI never sleeps.
You may also like Falling in Love and Dancing Woes
Kingfisher Delhi-Mum-Delhi : FOKAT
A night at Trident : FOKAT
Unlimited booze and live band at Hard Rock Cafe : FOKAT
Forgetting all luggage in a bus and chasing it down in an auto at 2 am : Rs. 600
There are some adventures you need to pay for, for everything else, there is
CITI BANK.
Phew!! Over. Finally done with. Did i want it to end so quick? Well..yes and no. But it will take some time to wear off my head for sure. Now before you start believing i’m talking about some steamy fling, let me dish out what the deal is about.
Let me call this 48 hours (sue me Danny Boyle). Stepping into a new citi (sic) to be welcomed in the confines of a 5 star luxury hotel, just for an induction process (training for training, if you may) is something most 23 year olds would settle for, especially when you don’t have to shell out a dime for it.
8 hours of induction cum intimidation by the business giants, up, close and err..just close ( housed 1st row) was a trough deep enough to really push me to an evening peak. And the peak sure was ‘high’ at Hard Rock Cafe - a smooth flow of music with continuous gulps to go with it. The ambience, staff, company, and any element i might have missed all get a mega \m/.
Time now to soak into some more of the lavishness thrown by the hotel people (my debut, need i say!!), and a nice cosy night to gear up for the day that followed. The breakfast of my life with a 4 digit bill, a drowsy day of business sessions, pleasantries exchanged and on the way back. The flight lands, and my eyes light up on seeing something i least expected at that hour (01:00) – a freaking bus!! A cab fare of 400 turning into 25 got me so ecstatic that i decided to ‘gift’ my laptop to the bus. Senses back in a bit - an auto chase, half a ton of calls, frantic prayers and 2 hours later, the divine decided my ordeal end and man and machine have a happy reunion.
Here i am at 04:00 telling you all about it. Find me the man who said CITI never sleeps.
You may also like Falling in Love and Dancing Woes
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
The Joys of Jogging
Jogging is a great form of exercise. It pumps oxygen in your body, removes cholesterol from your arteries and keeps you healthy and active for the day. Personally I don’t have any of these conditions but then why do I insist on jogging? Because I like the morning weather and I like to believe that I am fit.
I remember the first time I tried my hands or rather my legs at jogging. I was in engineering college that time. I was young, vain and naïve. Before I started the jog, I put on my fake nike running shoes, wore a grey T shirt (sweat looks the best in them or so I thought) and was ready for a 5 km jog(I have read somewhere that Milind Soman clocks 5 km and he is 40 so if he can why can’t I?)
I started my jog at the evening hours (that’s when the janta assemble and to run looks cool). I wore my happiest smile, ran towards a path that crosses girls hostel for obvious reasons (exercise should not only benefit your body but should also soothe your eyes)..
I have never jogged before and years of inaction had made me completely unfit for 1 km run let alone the 5 km that I was hoping to cover. But oblivious to all I ran. The first few steps felt good. I liked the way my foot pounded the pavement and propelled me forward, the cool breeze grazing through my hair and the activity around me all encouraged me. I ran, happy with my decision to start jogging. Life however had something else in store for me, before I could reach girls hostel, I was out of breath, I was puffing and my chest started to hurt, it almost felt like that I am going to have a cardiac arrest. To make matters worse, I reached the girls hostel too. Now I could not lay breathless and on the ground in front of the girls hostel; that would be ignominious. These are the girls that I would spend my next two years of life and in campus news travel fast so I cannot be the person who was lying breathless in front of the girl’s hostel. I had to carry on no matter the price or how hard the effort I have to put in. Giving up was not an option.
This was also the first time that I realized about ‘male ego’ thing that people keep writing about, for I was willing to do anything but lay there in front of the girl’s hostel. I took one last deep breath and ran as fast as if my rear end was on fire, took a short cut to get out of sight and turned the corner.
As soon as I turned the corner, I sprawled on the ground faster than Rajnikant can blink his eyes. Yes I said it and I am fully conscious what the repercussions could be but there has to be a measure of truth when I make such a tall claim. I remember very little of what happened later but I saw white light at the end of the tunnel and my whole life flashed in front of my eyes. I lay there motionless for what seemed like forever, may be I passed out. I was awakened only by the sniffing of a dog very close to my face. If I had not awakened when I did, the dog would have probably mistaken me for a piece of wood and took a leak on me. Thankfully I was up before that happened. That day I realised I am not fit, in fact I am far from being fit and that i have to start working on it.
Nowadays when I run/jog, I do not go near girl’s hostel (I am scared of a repeat performance), I do not run during evening when everyone is around but during the wee hours of morning with some old timers around. I am the fastest among them(makes me feel good) and if I get all puffy they do not make fun of me for they are in the same state and in case I ever get a attack they would know what to do (they have been there and done that I suppose)and will not judge me..
If you think you are fit then try running to gauge your health status, may be your opinion will change.
You might also like Somethings that do not change and My Class
I remember the first time I tried my hands or rather my legs at jogging. I was in engineering college that time. I was young, vain and naïve. Before I started the jog, I put on my fake nike running shoes, wore a grey T shirt (sweat looks the best in them or so I thought) and was ready for a 5 km jog(I have read somewhere that Milind Soman clocks 5 km and he is 40 so if he can why can’t I?)
I started my jog at the evening hours (that’s when the janta assemble and to run looks cool). I wore my happiest smile, ran towards a path that crosses girls hostel for obvious reasons (exercise should not only benefit your body but should also soothe your eyes)..
I have never jogged before and years of inaction had made me completely unfit for 1 km run let alone the 5 km that I was hoping to cover. But oblivious to all I ran. The first few steps felt good. I liked the way my foot pounded the pavement and propelled me forward, the cool breeze grazing through my hair and the activity around me all encouraged me. I ran, happy with my decision to start jogging. Life however had something else in store for me, before I could reach girls hostel, I was out of breath, I was puffing and my chest started to hurt, it almost felt like that I am going to have a cardiac arrest. To make matters worse, I reached the girls hostel too. Now I could not lay breathless and on the ground in front of the girls hostel; that would be ignominious. These are the girls that I would spend my next two years of life and in campus news travel fast so I cannot be the person who was lying breathless in front of the girl’s hostel. I had to carry on no matter the price or how hard the effort I have to put in. Giving up was not an option.
This was also the first time that I realized about ‘male ego’ thing that people keep writing about, for I was willing to do anything but lay there in front of the girl’s hostel. I took one last deep breath and ran as fast as if my rear end was on fire, took a short cut to get out of sight and turned the corner.
As soon as I turned the corner, I sprawled on the ground faster than Rajnikant can blink his eyes. Yes I said it and I am fully conscious what the repercussions could be but there has to be a measure of truth when I make such a tall claim. I remember very little of what happened later but I saw white light at the end of the tunnel and my whole life flashed in front of my eyes. I lay there motionless for what seemed like forever, may be I passed out. I was awakened only by the sniffing of a dog very close to my face. If I had not awakened when I did, the dog would have probably mistaken me for a piece of wood and took a leak on me. Thankfully I was up before that happened. That day I realised I am not fit, in fact I am far from being fit and that i have to start working on it.
Nowadays when I run/jog, I do not go near girl’s hostel (I am scared of a repeat performance), I do not run during evening when everyone is around but during the wee hours of morning with some old timers around. I am the fastest among them(makes me feel good) and if I get all puffy they do not make fun of me for they are in the same state and in case I ever get a attack they would know what to do (they have been there and done that I suppose)and will not judge me..
If you think you are fit then try running to gauge your health status, may be your opinion will change.
You might also like Somethings that do not change and My Class
Friday, April 8, 2011
Falling in Love
Love is a great feeling and it can happen to you at the unlikeliest of the places. There is no time for it to happen, no condition for it to blossom, it just comes to you. When it comes; the best you can do is to embrace it. All this sounds cheesy and so filmy that if I were not writing it, I would have been hollering GAY but now that I have experienced it, I am sold.
A lot has been said and written about love; songs have been written about it. Be it the classics of Kishore Kumar or Bryan Adams, love continue to be the central theme around which we revolve. Monuments have been created (no prize for guessing that I am talking about TAJ MAHAL) and civilizations have been destroyed for it (Remember Troy!!)
There are immortal and countless love stories, the protagonist of some survived to walk down the sunset (Shahjahan- Mumtaz) and there were others not so lucky and never lived to see the life they set out to create.
The inspiration for this post made a very rare and unique entry in my life. The entry was neither poetic nor heartwarming but it was annoying to say the least. The constant clicking of heels disturbed me; she would waltz in and out of the room where I was to make a presentation. Once I turned to look at the source of my annoyance, to say I was floored would be an understatement.
I was drawn to her like a bee is drawn to nectar. Like a kid is drawn to chocolates, like Emraan Haashmi is drawn to Mallika’s/Gita’s lips, like Rakhi Sawant is drawn to controversies. So strong was the feeling that I could actually hear my heart beat and it was beating really fast.
She was not very strikingly beautiful that is to say she was no bombshell but her smile, her smile could have forced Hrithik to walk in Guzaarish (something which Aishwarya was not able to do). The careless and the confident gait, God I will never forget that sight. I was taken; completely and totally.
Throughout my presentation I continued stealing glances of her. Something the judges noticed and it did not go down well with them and it showed:). But by that time I was not really interested in presentation, for I found the love of my life. Generally I am not the confident kind of guy who can start conversations but then she could be the mother of my children:).
Somehow summoning all my strength I did talk to her that day.
“Tough luck” She said.
“Yeah I know but what can you do? I think the others were better” I put up a brave face.
“If it were upto me you would have been the winner” She quipped
She was game for conversation or so I thought.
“Yeah but unfortunately for me and fortunately for them you were not the judge” I pointed at the winners (read Suckers) who were on the cloud 9 by now.
“So the trip is wasted” She ventured.
“Not exactly”
“How come?”
“Well if life hands you a lemon the least you can do is make lemonade” I quoted the line which I read in some book long time ago. Always wanted to use it and today was the perfect opportunity.
“Where is the lemonade? I am not seeing it”
“But I am looking at her. If it were not for this trip I would not have even met you”
Her eyes bulged with surprise and there was certain alarm in it. It was a warning sign but I was too lost to notice that.
“Easy Lover boy, I am engaged to be married this summer. I appreciate the effort though”
Talk about being down and out and then kicked in the groins.. Life can be so cruel sometimes
“Congrats and best of luck” was all that come to my mind and then I took her leave for the trip was completely wasted.
Heartbroken I boarded the bus and came back to this bad ugly city. Even now 200 kms away whenever I would hear the heels clicking, I would turn around hoping against hope that I would get a glimpse of that smile or someone like that or anyone who has a beautiful face.
Life goes on. What can I say:)
You might also like Dancing Woes and My Class
Friday, April 1, 2011
Phenomena that defies CHANGE
Honey, meet you at the bar.
I wrote a note to my wife, kissed my kid and was on my way to office making sure nobody wakes up.
I glanced at my Rolex, drove my car to the office. It was almost 6:30 am and if it were not for an important meeting late afternoon, I would not have ever reported so early for work. My day was supposed to be swamped but there was no way I could bring myself to work. This was one of those when concentration eludes you like sand in your hand, the harder you try the difficult it is to keep them in your palm. I would take a walk down the memory lane. It has been tumultuous but thoroughly enjoying journey.
Things have changed much, heck I have changed so much. For starters I worry about my receding hair line now. When as a teenager I was struggling with underweight problem now I have to watch what I eat for the tyre around my waist is not reducing. I am long way from the college penury days. I have come a long way from using nokia 1100 to Apple iphone 11.
Technology have changed the way the world works, it is a lot different than it was 20 years ago and in another 20 years it would be lot more different. All this trips down the memory lane were making me impatient and I kept looking at the watch to see if it is 12 yet because that’s when I will leave office.
Finally after what seemed like an eternity the clock did struck 12:00 and I rushed out of my office so fast, it would have given Flash a run for his money. The reason for all this impatience was I was going to meet my college friends today. Though we have kept in touch but today was something different, today was a phenomena that happens very rarely and when it does, it truly is amazing.
We have decided to go vintage today and hence a projector screen was mounted, the old kingfisher beer was about to flow in the bar today and the occasion was India Pakistan World Cup at Ranchi.
The last they met in the World Cup was way back in 2011 when I was still in college and that time India thrashed Pakistan and God was Man of the Match. I could very vividly remember that day. Almost the whole of sub continent to a halt.
We were expecting a repeat performance of that day and though India have changed much and Indians have changed much but today it seemed like the India of 2011.
Shops were shut closed; MNC’s have declared holiday and roads are deserted. Firecracker (outdated for quite some time now) is back in fashion and people are expecting to celebrate in the old fashioned way.Tricolours are flying high everywhere you see and it seems like the 26th of January only much more grandeur and filled with more splendour on a scale previously unimaginable. To think that 170 crore Indians would unite for a single cause is mind boggling.
Such was the sight on the roads and it was not any different in the coffee bar. My friends have already gathered and were bleeding blue (to quote from 2011). By now my wifey has joined me and when the first bottle of beer was opened the afternoon was all set.
There are people who say that change is the only constant but the way I see it, India Pakstan matches have defied change for a whole century now and it seems they are going to remain the same for another century to come. As for me I can only say “Go India Go.”
I wrote a note to my wife, kissed my kid and was on my way to office making sure nobody wakes up.
I glanced at my Rolex, drove my car to the office. It was almost 6:30 am and if it were not for an important meeting late afternoon, I would not have ever reported so early for work. My day was supposed to be swamped but there was no way I could bring myself to work. This was one of those when concentration eludes you like sand in your hand, the harder you try the difficult it is to keep them in your palm. I would take a walk down the memory lane. It has been tumultuous but thoroughly enjoying journey.
Things have changed much, heck I have changed so much. For starters I worry about my receding hair line now. When as a teenager I was struggling with underweight problem now I have to watch what I eat for the tyre around my waist is not reducing. I am long way from the college penury days. I have come a long way from using nokia 1100 to Apple iphone 11.
Technology have changed the way the world works, it is a lot different than it was 20 years ago and in another 20 years it would be lot more different. All this trips down the memory lane were making me impatient and I kept looking at the watch to see if it is 12 yet because that’s when I will leave office.
Finally after what seemed like an eternity the clock did struck 12:00 and I rushed out of my office so fast, it would have given Flash a run for his money. The reason for all this impatience was I was going to meet my college friends today. Though we have kept in touch but today was something different, today was a phenomena that happens very rarely and when it does, it truly is amazing.
We have decided to go vintage today and hence a projector screen was mounted, the old kingfisher beer was about to flow in the bar today and the occasion was India Pakistan World Cup at Ranchi.
The last they met in the World Cup was way back in 2011 when I was still in college and that time India thrashed Pakistan and God was Man of the Match. I could very vividly remember that day. Almost the whole of sub continent to a halt.
We were expecting a repeat performance of that day and though India have changed much and Indians have changed much but today it seemed like the India of 2011.
Shops were shut closed; MNC’s have declared holiday and roads are deserted. Firecracker (outdated for quite some time now) is back in fashion and people are expecting to celebrate in the old fashioned way.Tricolours are flying high everywhere you see and it seems like the 26th of January only much more grandeur and filled with more splendour on a scale previously unimaginable. To think that 170 crore Indians would unite for a single cause is mind boggling.
Such was the sight on the roads and it was not any different in the coffee bar. My friends have already gathered and were bleeding blue (to quote from 2011). By now my wifey has joined me and when the first bottle of beer was opened the afternoon was all set.
There are people who say that change is the only constant but the way I see it, India Pakstan matches have defied change for a whole century now and it seems they are going to remain the same for another century to come. As for me I can only say “Go India Go.”
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Dancing Woes
Somedays back my friends and I got a very pleasant invitation. “It is my sister’s wedding, Make sure you are all there”.
Marriage I believe is a colossal waste. There is so much food and hard earned money is spent to make wedding as spectacular as your wallet will allow. Ladies with all their garish, gawdy clothes and excessive make up while men on the other hand wearing really uncomfortable clothes just to outdo one another. The couple in question whose happiness we are supposedly celebrating just sit on the pedestal onlookers of their own marriage. But I am not married so what do I know about marriages anyway?
So, coming back to the original theme, My Friend’s Sister’s Wedding had everything quintessential about weddings, the abundant foods, the overdressed crowd etc. When talking about the wedding though, it is not complete without mention of the ‘Baraati Dance’.
‘Baraati Dance ’ is a demonstration of pure energy with no inhibition whatsoever and unmindful of the surroundings. The same thing happened at this wedding too when we took to the stage. It was almost a pandemonium.The most bizarre movement of the body and the twisted face expression said what words could never do. It would put the most accomplished dancer to shame for we were dancing to our own tune and for ourselves and not to put on a display. We danced our hearts out until our performance was cut short because kids were getting scared and some started crying.
I have had my fair share of experiences with dancing, some good and some not so good but there is one that stuck with me.
At one of my distant cousin’s wedding, I was among the many that attended the match made in heaven (some overzealous aunts of course played a part in its fruition. The aunts must be angels then) I was gauging the quality of the crowd(if you know what I mean) and lay patiently like a predator waiting to pounce on my unsuspecting prey. After I zoomed in on the prey, I got my cousin to get a good introduction. Helpful as my cousin was, I was set for the night to have a good time.
Prey’s name was Payal and she was good looking and it turned out she was interested in the conversation (pretty difficult to resist my charm anyway). The night was pacing along nicely and we were having good conversation. It was almost like we clicked and I was about to ask for her number (this was pre facebook days and getting number was means to get to know her better) when suddenly I was pulled away for dancing.
After the due notanki, I caved in to the temptation of dancing. I danced like there was no tomorrow, I totally gave in to the primal desires and before I could be lost in the trance, I happen to get a look at Payal’s face. She was shellshocked and her face was drained of colour almost as if she had seen a ghost. I stopped my sterling performance midway an was trying to approach her when she turned and ran like I was some kind of vampire thirsty for her blood. She was not seen for the rest of the night and I never got her number.
I always knew I am not Hrithik Roshan but whenever I try to dance now Payal’s face always haunts me.
Marriage I believe is a colossal waste. There is so much food and hard earned money is spent to make wedding as spectacular as your wallet will allow. Ladies with all their garish, gawdy clothes and excessive make up while men on the other hand wearing really uncomfortable clothes just to outdo one another. The couple in question whose happiness we are supposedly celebrating just sit on the pedestal onlookers of their own marriage. But I am not married so what do I know about marriages anyway?
So, coming back to the original theme, My Friend’s Sister’s Wedding had everything quintessential about weddings, the abundant foods, the overdressed crowd etc. When talking about the wedding though, it is not complete without mention of the ‘Baraati Dance’.
‘Baraati Dance ’ is a demonstration of pure energy with no inhibition whatsoever and unmindful of the surroundings. The same thing happened at this wedding too when we took to the stage. It was almost a pandemonium.The most bizarre movement of the body and the twisted face expression said what words could never do. It would put the most accomplished dancer to shame for we were dancing to our own tune and for ourselves and not to put on a display. We danced our hearts out until our performance was cut short because kids were getting scared and some started crying.
I have had my fair share of experiences with dancing, some good and some not so good but there is one that stuck with me.
At one of my distant cousin’s wedding, I was among the many that attended the match made in heaven (some overzealous aunts of course played a part in its fruition. The aunts must be angels then) I was gauging the quality of the crowd(if you know what I mean) and lay patiently like a predator waiting to pounce on my unsuspecting prey. After I zoomed in on the prey, I got my cousin to get a good introduction. Helpful as my cousin was, I was set for the night to have a good time.
Prey’s name was Payal and she was good looking and it turned out she was interested in the conversation (pretty difficult to resist my charm anyway). The night was pacing along nicely and we were having good conversation. It was almost like we clicked and I was about to ask for her number (this was pre facebook days and getting number was means to get to know her better) when suddenly I was pulled away for dancing.
After the due notanki, I caved in to the temptation of dancing. I danced like there was no tomorrow, I totally gave in to the primal desires and before I could be lost in the trance, I happen to get a look at Payal’s face. She was shellshocked and her face was drained of colour almost as if she had seen a ghost. I stopped my sterling performance midway an was trying to approach her when she turned and ran like I was some kind of vampire thirsty for her blood. She was not seen for the rest of the night and I never got her number.
I always knew I am not Hrithik Roshan but whenever I try to dance now Payal’s face always haunts me.
Sunday, March 6, 2011
GOD SHOULD BE IN A B SCHOOL
I was so confused today early morning. I was feeling lazy and wanted to sleep more but at the same time I was hungry, hungry enough to have my sleep distracted. I could have probably eaten something but that would entail brushing teeth and going downstairs to have breakfast. Brushing teeth I could have forgo but there was no way to have food without going downstairs.
It was then the idea hit me, God with all his knowledge and power is inefficient for sure. For he could have easily do away with food and make us solar powered. All it would have taken was a wave of magic wand. This would have save time, the precious time that we spent on having food and the time spent on working to get that too. It would also have meant no death due to starvation and people would not have to toil for bare survival. Their time could have been directed towards education, innovation, literature and the best of all sleep.
Of course critics of this theory often points out that there would been have no life in Siberia then. Firstly, who would want to live in Siberia and secondly are not there inhospitable terrains in the world right now?
Just think of the advancements that we would have made in the field of science, literature. Not only that there would have no deaths due to cholesterol blocked arteries, diabetes etc.
When I have already mentioned about inefficiency in the design system of God, I might also point out the flaws in his branding too. God if you are reading pay attention for this is very important.
When it started out, God was portrayed as all merciful, kind, forgiving to its followers and tolerant of other people religious beliefs. This made it possible for people of different faiths to co exist. Humans were thought of as created in the image of the maker.
Lately however the branding campaign of God has been hijacked and it has hit rock bottom to say the least. When once the icons of God was the learned Gurus. Prophet or Son of god, the post has been usurped by Al Qaeda and the self proclaimed moral police trying to uplift and remove the decadent practices that has taken hold of mere mortals.
So Lord the all merciful will banish you from his Kingdom and leave you to rot in hell if you do not follow His Law.
Now, Lord the picture of tolerance is having hard time accepting that two consenting adults hold hands in public and celebrate Valentine’s Day and girls much to his chagrin wear jeans.
God the Creator of Life now proclaims “Death to Infidels” from the roof tops and force kids to carry AK- 47.
A simple and naïve follower like me is confused, which is the true identity of God.
Which God I put my faith into, The inefficient and merciful God or the inefficient, hateful and vengeful God.
I think it is time that God take stocks of all things happening in his name and may be learn something about operations and marketing while he is at it. As for me I better get up before my head burst with further crazy ideas.
It was then the idea hit me, God with all his knowledge and power is inefficient for sure. For he could have easily do away with food and make us solar powered. All it would have taken was a wave of magic wand. This would have save time, the precious time that we spent on having food and the time spent on working to get that too. It would also have meant no death due to starvation and people would not have to toil for bare survival. Their time could have been directed towards education, innovation, literature and the best of all sleep.
Of course critics of this theory often points out that there would been have no life in Siberia then. Firstly, who would want to live in Siberia and secondly are not there inhospitable terrains in the world right now?
Just think of the advancements that we would have made in the field of science, literature. Not only that there would have no deaths due to cholesterol blocked arteries, diabetes etc.
When I have already mentioned about inefficiency in the design system of God, I might also point out the flaws in his branding too. God if you are reading pay attention for this is very important.
When it started out, God was portrayed as all merciful, kind, forgiving to its followers and tolerant of other people religious beliefs. This made it possible for people of different faiths to co exist. Humans were thought of as created in the image of the maker.
Lately however the branding campaign of God has been hijacked and it has hit rock bottom to say the least. When once the icons of God was the learned Gurus. Prophet or Son of god, the post has been usurped by Al Qaeda and the self proclaimed moral police trying to uplift and remove the decadent practices that has taken hold of mere mortals.
So Lord the all merciful will banish you from his Kingdom and leave you to rot in hell if you do not follow His Law.
Now, Lord the picture of tolerance is having hard time accepting that two consenting adults hold hands in public and celebrate Valentine’s Day and girls much to his chagrin wear jeans.
God the Creator of Life now proclaims “Death to Infidels” from the roof tops and force kids to carry AK- 47.
A simple and naïve follower like me is confused, which is the true identity of God.
Which God I put my faith into, The inefficient and merciful God or the inefficient, hateful and vengeful God.
I think it is time that God take stocks of all things happening in his name and may be learn something about operations and marketing while he is at it. As for me I better get up before my head burst with further crazy ideas.
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
IndianBudget and Me
This is not one of those 100’s articles doing the round explaining the budget to you. So if you want to know about budget (seriously budget!!) then bugger off. This is about the similarities between Pranab Mukherjee and me. Ya I know it is flattering but the resemblance is uncanny.
First and the foremost similarity is the dependence on the word “IF”. Now I do not have to explain the importance of the word ‘if’. For every one of us every now and then sighs “IF ONLY” and the things could have been different.
My list of ifs include the following:
- Should have been cast as Robert Pattinson opposite Kristen Stewart and now she could have been my girl friend and I would have been the heartthrob of entire world or at least the world that matters
- I was born as Vijay Mallya’s son and have unlimited access to ‘beer’, license for good time and got to hang out with Deepika.
- I could be invisible and hence do not have to attend the classes and get my degree without breaking a sweat.
Whereas Pranab da’s list of ifs include:
- Double digit growth will manifest itself in the next fiscal inshallah. (The crucial how is missing)
- The price of crude oil will magically come down despite the several jasmine round of revolutions taking place in the oil producing countries. (I prayed to Goddess Lakshmi did not I? she will do something)
- Nandan Nilekani will come up with the UID project by March 2012 and we will be able to plug the leaks in PDS and subsidies. (This might actually come true. Betting on Nilekani to deliver)
- BJP will help us pass the important reformist bills like The Insurance Laws and the Banking Laws Amendment Bill. (Like they help you pass the Nuclear Deal)
- There is another windfall gain like the 3G to rein fiscal deficit. (Some minister conscience will wake up and he will donate the money he made from one of the scams. Mr Raja you reading this?)
- Food Prices and the supply bottlenecks will magically disappear. (Like they have been asked to disappear for the last fifty years.)
My ‘ifs’ or ‘wishlist’ may look impossible and stupid but believe me they are not half as stupid as Pranab da’s wishlist. These are just some basic but nonetheless important ‘ifs’ on which how Pranab da will be remembered as FM depends.
First and the foremost similarity is the dependence on the word “IF”. Now I do not have to explain the importance of the word ‘if’. For every one of us every now and then sighs “IF ONLY” and the things could have been different.
My list of ifs include the following:
- Should have been cast as Robert Pattinson opposite Kristen Stewart and now she could have been my girl friend and I would have been the heartthrob of entire world or at least the world that matters
- I was born as Vijay Mallya’s son and have unlimited access to ‘beer’, license for good time and got to hang out with Deepika.
- I could be invisible and hence do not have to attend the classes and get my degree without breaking a sweat.
Whereas Pranab da’s list of ifs include:
- Double digit growth will manifest itself in the next fiscal inshallah. (The crucial how is missing)
- The price of crude oil will magically come down despite the several jasmine round of revolutions taking place in the oil producing countries. (I prayed to Goddess Lakshmi did not I? she will do something)
- Nandan Nilekani will come up with the UID project by March 2012 and we will be able to plug the leaks in PDS and subsidies. (This might actually come true. Betting on Nilekani to deliver)
- BJP will help us pass the important reformist bills like The Insurance Laws and the Banking Laws Amendment Bill. (Like they help you pass the Nuclear Deal)
- There is another windfall gain like the 3G to rein fiscal deficit. (Some minister conscience will wake up and he will donate the money he made from one of the scams. Mr Raja you reading this?)
- Food Prices and the supply bottlenecks will magically disappear. (Like they have been asked to disappear for the last fifty years.)
My ‘ifs’ or ‘wishlist’ may look impossible and stupid but believe me they are not half as stupid as Pranab da’s wishlist. These are just some basic but nonetheless important ‘ifs’ on which how Pranab da will be remembered as FM depends.
Saturday, February 26, 2011
My Engineering/MBA Class
A classroom resembles more of society than may be apparent at first. There are like in the civil society, the upper class, the middle class and the lower class.
A Class can be similarly divided into haves and haves not with a large number thrown in between the two. There are ofcourse outliers too but they are few and far in between.
Ambanis and Mittals of our class are people who have always had more than 90% throughout be it nursery, matric, high school, undergraduate or post graduate. Anything less than 90% and they will scorn like they have broken one of the Ten Commandments. It almost seems like they were born with a purpose and that divine purpose was to mug and mug so bad that no question in the paper would be left unanswered.
It is very easy to locate these Ambanis, they would always sit in the front row and take notes like their life depended on writing every syllable that comes out of the prof as if they were divine revealation. They could be seen tailing the professors when prof’s left the class.
Then there is the Aam Aadmi (Mango Man). This part of the society gives meaning to the upper class and is something that lower class people aspire to be. They can be spotted occupying from third row to anywhere upto the last row depending on when they entered the class.
They are the ones who will download ppt’s , get the notes Xeroxed on the night before the exams/minors as the case may be. This section actually determines the quality of the profs. For if the prof is any good some of them might actually listen to the prof else they will just turn their deaf ear to the prof, read ET, novel or the best of all sleep.
Then there is the lower class ot the BPL class. They may be the most misunderstood section of the society.
They are the ones most prone to spring a surprise. They are hard to spot in class for they are never present in the class. At the end of the semester, they are running after prof’s to get their attendance completed or have a medical certificate in hand. They generally come to know of the syllabus during the course of appearing exams.
Finally there are outliers. They are the hardest to classify for they elude any set description. Some may top the subject even though they never attended any class (or may be because of it). Some of them will line up to get their medical certificate when they should be appearing exam. Nothing concrete is however known about them.
You might also like Dancing Woes and God should be in a B School
A Class can be similarly divided into haves and haves not with a large number thrown in between the two. There are ofcourse outliers too but they are few and far in between.
Ambanis and Mittals of our class are people who have always had more than 90% throughout be it nursery, matric, high school, undergraduate or post graduate. Anything less than 90% and they will scorn like they have broken one of the Ten Commandments. It almost seems like they were born with a purpose and that divine purpose was to mug and mug so bad that no question in the paper would be left unanswered.
It is very easy to locate these Ambanis, they would always sit in the front row and take notes like their life depended on writing every syllable that comes out of the prof as if they were divine revealation. They could be seen tailing the professors when prof’s left the class.
Then there is the Aam Aadmi (Mango Man). This part of the society gives meaning to the upper class and is something that lower class people aspire to be. They can be spotted occupying from third row to anywhere upto the last row depending on when they entered the class.
They are the ones who will download ppt’s , get the notes Xeroxed on the night before the exams/minors as the case may be. This section actually determines the quality of the profs. For if the prof is any good some of them might actually listen to the prof else they will just turn their deaf ear to the prof, read ET, novel or the best of all sleep.
Then there is the lower class ot the BPL class. They may be the most misunderstood section of the society.
They are the ones most prone to spring a surprise. They are hard to spot in class for they are never present in the class. At the end of the semester, they are running after prof’s to get their attendance completed or have a medical certificate in hand. They generally come to know of the syllabus during the course of appearing exams.
Finally there are outliers. They are the hardest to classify for they elude any set description. Some may top the subject even though they never attended any class (or may be because of it). Some of them will line up to get their medical certificate when they should be appearing exam. Nothing concrete is however known about them.
You might also like Dancing Woes and God should be in a B School
Monday, February 21, 2011
The curious case of Berlo and Tiwari
The more things change the more they remain the same. This may sound lika a cliché but it is a cliché for a reason: it is true.
Have you ever heard of Mr Tiwari, the Andhra Pradesh governor or rather known as the protagonist of a video whereby he indulges in threesome (that too at an age of 84)? I think most of us can recollect it. Now have not we been hearing the exploits of Mr Silvio Berlusconi. These two gentlemen had something in common for sure. They were drunk with power and are extremely virile. The only difference they belong to different parts of the world
Recently lot of scams has been making the headlines: the 2G scam, The Adarsh Society scam, the CWG scam, the ISRO Spectrum scam. There are so many of them that it is hard to keep track of all of it. Well there is a reason why we had so many scams, the liberal justice system, the political system that will protect their own at every cost and the largely apathetic population which has accepted corruption as part of the culture.
But the mother of all scam was certainly Recession. Well may be it was not scam in the traditional sense of the word but the underlying factors were the same: Greed that led to flagrant breaking or finding loopholes in the legal system, Putting the good of one over that of the community and most important of all the rewards that were associated with these activities. There was only one difference again, the origin of the scams were from different parts of the world.
Despite being culturally so different why is it that things do not look that different when viewed from the distance.
Well if I may be so presumptuous as to venture a guess than it would be that humans don’t change. May be we play under different systems and under different circumstances but the underlying nature of human is what determines the course he will take and every now and then there always will be someone who can find loopholes in the system or break the law with impunity. There is nothing left for society but to pick up the pieces and try to move forward and may be for a change punish the ones responsible.
P.S – Read on rediff.com that the wealth of Mr Mubarak amounts to roughly $5 billion and that is a conservative estimate. What can I say Hats off to you Mr Mubarak.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)