Tuesday, March 1, 2011

IndianBudget and Me

This is not one of those 100’s articles doing the round explaining the budget to you. So if you want to know about budget (seriously budget!!) then bugger off. This is about the similarities between Pranab Mukherjee and me. Ya I know it is flattering but the resemblance is uncanny.
First and the foremost similarity is the dependence on the word “IF”. Now I do not have to explain the importance of the word ‘if’. For every one of us every now and then sighs “IF ONLY” and the things could have been different.
My list of ifs include the following:
- Should have been cast as Robert Pattinson opposite Kristen Stewart and now she could have been my girl friend and I would have been the heartthrob of entire world or at least the world that matters
- I was born as Vijay Mallya’s son and have unlimited access to ‘beer’, license for good time and got to hang out with Deepika.

- I could be invisible and hence do not have to attend the classes and get my degree without breaking a sweat.

Whereas Pranab da’s list of ifs include:
- Double digit growth will manifest itself in the next fiscal inshallah. (The crucial how is missing)
- The price of crude oil will magically come down despite the several jasmine round of revolutions taking place in the oil producing countries. (I prayed to Goddess Lakshmi did not I? she will do something)
- Nandan Nilekani will come up with the UID project by March 2012 and we will be able to plug the leaks in PDS and subsidies. (This might actually come true. Betting on Nilekani to deliver)

- BJP will help us pass the important reformist bills like The Insurance Laws and the Banking Laws Amendment Bill. (Like they help you pass the Nuclear Deal)
- There is another windfall gain like the 3G to rein fiscal deficit. (Some minister conscience will wake up and he will donate the money he made from one of the scams. Mr Raja you reading this?)
- Food Prices and the supply bottlenecks will magically disappear. (Like they have been asked to disappear for the last fifty years.)

My ‘ifs’ or ‘wishlist’ may look impossible and stupid but believe me they are not half as stupid as Pranab da’s wishlist. These are just some basic but nonetheless important ‘ifs’ on which how Pranab da will be remembered as FM depends.


  1. gud one... i wish someday u deliver the same budget in the Parliament :)

  2. @Subhajeet- the day i deliver budget i wont make branded clothes more expensive thats for sure..

  3. But what Pranab Da says only Mamta Di can decipher. And who knows next year we can hear Pranab Daa sing a Bangla version of "I have a dream".

  4. nice one... and v ironic:)
    u have managed to capture all of it in a very hilarious similie

  5. @-Rajnish, aamby, arti- thank u all.
    @Purba- and then they can have misti for the entire parliament.