Friday, May 20, 2011

Of Sleepless Nights and Random Thoughts

It has been three nights in a row, no sleep, no rest and no peace whatsoever. It is not heat, nor it is love but it is the constant buzzing, mind numbing, the most irritating sound being played in my ears. Damn you mosquitoes, please let me have a good night of sleep.

I know I should be using the mortein coil or the mortein liquidator but believe me i have tried every possible thing. I tried using mortein liquid the first night but it did not work, then in the middle of the night i woke up to use the coil too,certain that with the joint attack of the coil and the liquidator, mosquitoes wont stand a chance. But they are mutants, evolved into some new creature and not affected by the mortein. So next day, rather night I devised an even better strategy, I used the mortein coil and the all out liquidator certain that the cock tail would definitely be effective, on the contrary they attacked with renewed vigour.

A man can only take so much and so I ran away from the room gasping and breathing hard, the second night was gone too but it was only 2 in the night and I have another 4 minimum hours to spend. What could I do? Ever spent two sleepless nights, it can drive you crazy.

One after another crazy thoughts kept entering my mind. Can I do something like Parshuram did, that is pick up my axe and go after all the kshatriyas. Can I pick up an electrified badminton racket and go after all the mosquitoes? Only the thought that they play an important part in the ecosystem saved them that night or else I was gonna do a Parshuram on the mosquitoes.

Another thought that entered my mind was, can I become a superhero kind ala spiderman due to mosquito bites. Are these mosquitoes by any chance radioactive? And if yes what would my powers be?

Would I be buzzing endlessly in the ears of criminals till they surrender or kill themselves? Or I can bite them but somehow i was not comfortable with the idea of biting filthy, dirty criminals. If the criminal is a drop dead gorgeous female then may be nah i will definitely change my style and bite her, does that make me a sexist superhero? A superhero that bites the females and irritates the male criminal does not really sound like the description of a hero nonetheless I am free to choose my style of attack.

I was well on my way to design a costume for myself but the fact that i have never been any good at designing stopped me from going for the pencil and paper and the last vestiges of sanity that remained prevented me from making a call to my friend who is good with designing to design my costume. Well that and the fact that my secret will then not be a secret anymore. What kind of superhero takes help in designing a costume for himself. While i was lost in thinking all these, somehow the morning dawned and i was beside myself with pleasure.

(A note to myself) No more superhero movies for me and definitely no Justice League and Batman animations, I am losing track of reality.

Finally the last night. This time I stared the mosquito right into his eyes for I was prepared. I took out an Odomos cream, applied generously all over myself, put a mortein coil and an all out coil and a liquidator. If the mosquitoes still manage to get to me, I am suing all these companies. I dont know which one worked but I was victorious today. I have conquered my foe. Besides getting a good night sleep, there were other perks too.

Since I have been sleeping with mortein, odomos and all out, i smell like them too. All the Wild Stone (which by the way is a complete lie, no female drooled over me:() of the world cannot take that smell away from you and today when i boarded the congested bus to report to my office, people made way for me. Talk about being feeling Royal.

And with the key to defeat mosquitoes, I can definitely quote Black Eyed Peas, “Tonight's gonna be a good night”.

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  1. lol. u kno u needn hav worried so much fr a costume. jus take a newspaper...cut it d way u want n staple d rest. dat way it wud b cut to figure too!
    ooooo n so stylish. i mean wen was d last tym v saw a superhero like dat! hot property, i say. :P

  2. haha...Nice one man !! You are back on track. Mujhe bilkul pata nahi tha ki Pune me IBM se jyada macchar teri band baja rahe hai ;).

    After reading this post I can't stop thinking about your last post and the famous saying that men should avoid discussing politics and cricket to stay away from conflicts.Well it certainly proved true in this case :)

    Good work. Looking forward to read more.
    keep going !!

    P.S.- Thanks for your book recommendation. I am loving it !!

  3. @Sadiya- you did not think it through, just imagine the acrobatics i have to pull off. A wardrobe malfunction would not suit me after all i am not invisible girl of the fantastic four:)

    @Prashant- Told ya, one of the better books, i am desperate here to get my hands on the second part of Millenium.

  4. hahhahaha. reminds me of my days in a boarding school in Nigeria. The mosquitoes there were evil!! & huge :(

  5. ha ha thats a very good post!!! evening comes!!! mosquitoes start rushing in home like fighter jets coming in all equipped!! i too have had so many dreadful memories of mosquitoes!!!!!

  6. @Kitkat,Cindrella- it is true, almost everyone has had that dreadful night where he/she was molested by mosquitoes through out the night..and we ish if only this night comes to an end.

  7. I had similar experience with bedbugs. You rock the sarcasm.
    Btw, why your blog title is Jaali Engineer?
    I recalled your title today as i was sitting in my balcony and felt i was behind the jaali.